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Olive Oil
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Olive Oil |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state 
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Sinewy and lanky, caught and in trouble Waving your arms, your hero runs on the double olive oil, my sweet, your extract so fair leaves of your tree, doves carry through the air. Bound and ripe, your fruit picked for precious oil of the branch, the extra virgin liquid will spoil crop of tradition, cultivated in Mediteranean heat the root of which artisans carve objects so neat. classic gnarls gives your trunk away that virgin extract is a culture's mainstay; olive my sweet, your refined oil can be rare saved by your anchor-muscled hero debonaire. [This message has been edited by ecrivan (02-22-2002 11:53 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PearlsB4Swine Member
since 2002-02-01
Posts 130where the heart finds me |
Well composed, with a difficult rhyming and rhythm scheme.  perhaps, just one suggestion: gnarls as opposed to knarls? Ode to an Oil...as it were....and it worked! PB4S |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A little history, some poetic twists, some cartoonish clowning around... a wonderful write! I enjoyed having you make me smile! and yes...gnarls... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (02-23-2002 08:00 AM).] |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Sunshine, isn't the personification in the last stanza grand?Poor Olive Oil..she could never be a buxom blond..hehe |
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