»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #19
»
Twisted Poetry
| Open Poetry #19 |
|
Twisted Poetry |
|
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
A sonnet is fourteen lines in any of several fixed verse or rhyme schemes, characteristically expressing a single theme or Idea. So for an exercise I took a simple fourteen line as a starting place, And twisted it’s shape. Follow along, if you care to… ~Body of a Sonnet~ I hear her foot fall, Striding in heels of black. Coming down the hall, I’m taken quite aback; Leather torso filling Ample bosom spilling Over for eyes delight, Carried by legs in silk Face white as milk, Vision that last into the night I hear the passing footfalls As they go quickly passed my door, Another voice to her calls, Still alone as I was before. ~Twisted Body of a Sonnet~ I hear her foot falling, in heels of black. She’s Striding Coming down the darken hall, Seeing her nothing of lack; More filling Leather torso with spilling Ample bosom for delight, legs in silk Face as milk, Vision that last into night the passing I hear footfalls as they go quickly passed my door, I know, Another voice to her calls, she answers him Still alone, Alone as I was before. ~Twisting Further~ Noise on the wood steps out back I hear her foot falling, in Shades of black. She’s Striding Seeing there’s nothing she lacks; Coming down the darken sprawl, Cruel Riding, Of taking them one and all. Ample bosom for delight, pale as milk, Vision that last into night Leather torso over fills, legs in silk panties of the finest frills Longing fiery eye that kills Lovers force, images of her lusting that spills to the ugly dark hiding lost of choice, lost of chance, but still abiding. Lost fire. I hear footfalls as they go quickly passed my door, I know, Another voice to her calls, she answers him Still alone, Alone as I was before. Gloom |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
every way you twisted this, I thought was ama  zing!! |
||
|
Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Gloom... I love the way you twist. Great job. alan |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love to watch you at play, my friend! I too, enjoy experimenting, and I'm going to keep this one, as I found it interesting, the way meaning changed from one example to another. Thanks again! |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
WOW!!!This poem is amazing...I am extremely impressed...Magnificent is a word that can't begin to describe how well you have done this...**big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
||
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Excellent writing Professor!! Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Sea, You are kind with your praise on my little twisting of words, Thank you, Alan, Pleased you like my exercise with forms, Thank you, Serenity, I enjoy that you enjoy, I guess I keep playing so I won’t stagnate Like a forgotten pool. As for changing meaning, They’re all about a woman walking by, Lets see, a woman dressed in black, wonder whom that might be? Thank you, Startime, Glad you liked, but I must admit, this is rather old like me and just dusted off and represented. Gloom |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Nightshade, You slipped in while I was answering the others, But I am no less pleased by your enjoyment of my humble words. Gloom |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is fabulous, I love how you divided the parts and explained yourself so vividly, my heart goes out to you and I hope now you have found love so you will never be alone like this again! (big hugggsssss) We all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shie upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
All Great.... #2 and #3 I like the best... seem more real maybe she seems more heartless..... Then the point made about choice being gone now..... good point.... well Keep playing ... all fo us here are enjoying : ) Connie |
||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
I love two and three, of course one was good too. keep twisting professor, you do it good, hmmmm, isnt that a dance? LOL great imaginative creative write. floria |
||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
I love two and three, of course one was good too. keep twisting professor, you do it good, hmmmm, isnt that a dance? LOL great imaginative creative write. floria Floria |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved all three, and want an encore please but with another poem of course, it will give you something to do, but this time a lady in white? Paleze - this was absolutely terrific, and again - read them out loud and all three are so distinctly different (I love reading yours out loud.) Live today like it was your last day on earth! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
