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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-02-18 06:54 PM



thus seats this need between reason and desire.
the chase… always, it seems, it is the chase.

here, it is not about a destiny that doesn’t exist;
the comparison of pears to plums.
hell, it’s not even about better or worse -
just maybe, misunderstood…

          plus one for the thought, minus two for the smile

see, in the reams of need pressed from the pulp of history
it’s the running, the jumping, arguing, agreeing, baring, bearing, caring, crying, denying, deceiving, envisioning, enveloping, following, foreswearing, giving, grieving, hoping, holding, it’s the…
dammit, why does it have to be so hard
to hang by a moment between indecision and inconsequentials
packaged haphazardly into the silver wrapping of friendship?

and why, why does it take so long to tie a knot over the core of a difference in opinion
while we crack words like bayonets through “A+B=C?”
so hard now, it’s to the point where
     we can’t even laugh,
     we can’t even cry.
     we can’t even laugh,
     we can’t even cry.

          ah, come what may…

still, a tangent of incidentals will tear us down every time, devolving explanation into issues of truths and destinations, labels and demarcations.
will rationalize thoughts into actions; impenetrable deductions of irretrievable logistics… uhm, I meant logic.

forests will bend beneath the clichés, but we never do – we just evade…
             until we can’t anymore.

     and yet…

yet the novel reaches a crescendo and peace becalms the waves - if only for a heartbeat before music bounces off walls of incongruity once again. but in those moments, I swear, in those moments -
     I am torn.

                    seems it’s easier to push back conflicting desires when you frown.

so I try to recognize it all as light and rainbows,
the plastering of the unanswerable across divinations of ‘trying’ until it’s time to
rake the banners down from the pain,
and run them through the mill of development so we can
stand straight,
stand tall…
          yeah right,
as if I could pretend the strength of someone who can say ‘I hope,’
while tumbling down a well of divergent aspirations,
groping for solidity along slick walls of an iron assignation.

     two sides to a coin

really though, there’s three.
me, I’m the edge, the nickel-plated circumference.
slim odds it’d land edge up, when the fires of chance have dried the opportunities of a 1400 mile gamble, leaving the slickness of despair to trip up tomorrow.
still,
         I feel somehow I’ve won, as if I could never consider loss
when so much of the burden was mine.
good god, there was no annulment of joy, only the pushing aside for
the chatterings of miscommunication.

     realizations, irony, bad analogies, and semantics
          how do you stand it?

the worst though:
     trespass.

but, how can I cheat the pulse from my veins
when I was here first?
and how can I worry twelve times over for a
union that should have been…
should have borne no separation?

laugh – I can because I fell.
the branch you rested on was already snapped twice.
propriety’s lost on a lark like that, isn’t it.
hard to claim a quote you discarded.

          “invest? invest? yes, invest!”

dump interest into the stock of a hope that clings to the remnants of
personality conflicting with agreement. grasp onto the beads of perspiration shuffling loose the masks of intimacy – the ones that fall when the danger fades…?

     I don’t know,
        I always talked too much anyway, and it’s usually about hope.

© Copyright 2002 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-02-18 07:17 PM


This is beyond my brain. But I kinda guess you knew that. You, among others today, have tapped that honest place of writing. And I am jealous. Keeping another here, Chris.
JBaker515
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
2 posted 2002-02-18 07:30 PM


WOW..

this was incredible..

BUMP

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
3 posted 2002-02-18 07:50 PM


.

See that dot? It signifies astonishment...

I stole that from K... thought it was appropriate...

~shaking head~ Later on this one.. *sigh*
Hugs, for whatever they're worth... this has stunned me... and I'm sad, and sorry, and utterly without remorse, which I think, amazingly, you'll understand... ~light smile~

Love you, rock...

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2002-02-18 08:20 PM


Amazing. You are offering us a glimpse of your heart here. So well done, Chris, it's truly astonishing.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2002-02-18 11:32 PM


What was it you were saying about emotional braille?

Phew...

Wordless, as usual.

Useless huh?

K


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-02-18 11:39 PM


"see, in the reams of need pressed from the pulp of history
it’s the running, the jumping, arguing, agreeing, baring, bearing, caring, crying, denying, deceiving, envisioning, enveloping, following, foreswearing, giving, grieving, hoping, holding, it’s the…
dammit, why does it have to be so hard"

Told you I'd be back! and you should be frightened, as this particular verse sounds a helluva lot like me! (try talking like that sometimes, the expressions on their faces are priceless) Can I love you out loud and in public? TOO LATE!!!!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2002-02-19 02:09 PM


realizations, irony, bad analogies, and semantics
          how do you stand it?

the worst though:
     trespass.


Smiling--I could read this one every day and get something new out of it. And...I just might!

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
8 posted 2002-02-19 10:08 PM


I think I will read this over and over.... And why when reading it why do I read faster and faster as I progress into the write
  very well done... sounds so very honest
Connie

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2002-02-19 10:13 PM


thanks everyone - this is probably the most honest piece i've ever written... and still a third as long as it could have been had i more time... thanks for the hugs, the silences, and the well-dones.

C

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2002-02-20 04:07 PM


yes. . . I'll agree with that. . .

and I'll also say that this needs to be read more. . . so. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
11 posted 2002-03-08 03:32 AM


Deeply impressed...

*smiles*
~Tier

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2002-03-08 06:50 AM


"forests will bend beneath the clichés, but we never do – we just evade…
                                until we can’t anymore."

"stand straight,
stand tall…
    yeah right,
as if I could pretend the strength of someone who can say "I hope,"
while tumbling down a well of divergent aspirations,
groping for solidity along slick walls of an iron assignation."

This is a powerful and emotive piece Chris ... you really gripped me throughout. I was surprised at how much of these words I was able to relate back to many aspects within my own life. Incredible imagery ... raw and compelling. An excellent write indeed.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
13 posted 2002-03-08 11:21 AM


heya kit-a-rooni. thanks you.

tier - *smile*

sven - thanks for the attempted ressurection.

C

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2002-03-08 11:45 PM


Christopher, you are one amazing guy.......
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
15 posted 2002-03-09 10:25 AM


Hey handsome...haven't seen you around as of late, or maybe it's me who hasn't been around..either way, I miss this incrediable talent you have. This poem left me washed out and hung to dry...what emotion this one wrenches. As always dear friend, bravo...but me doesn't like the bitter taste this leaves in the mouth. E-mail me and let me know all's ok...

~ Ruth
www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html  

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
16 posted 2002-03-09 11:13 AM


"I don’t know,
        I always talked too much anyway, and it’s usually about hope."

Keep talking, Christopher! Your thoughts make brilliant flashes in our darkness and God knows we need the light!

((Christopher))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
17 posted 2002-03-09 12:05 PM


Well, I've been sitting here trying to think of something to say, but I can't. (I either haven't had enough coffee, or it's too early, one.)

I didn't read any of the replies before posting this one, so forgive if it sounds out of whack a little.  I'm trying to be light here, but not in a patronizing kind of way, I guess I'm just really suprised with the honesty of this.  (suprised with your honesty - ha ha ha - that sounds terrible, sorry)  Well, okay, suprised isn't really the dominator here, I'm more proud of you (eww, gross proud, get it off! I can here you from up here, you could at least say it quieter. ) for the window.

Okay, I'm babbling (I know, hush) - Usually I wait to formulate a reply, because I still haven't taken K&M's beautiful conversation courses yet - I guess I was just shocked into replying prematurely, by how different this is, how just plain honest this is.  I love it, it's painful, it's not pretty, mushy, glorified, sappy sweet lovey masked in big words - it's life.  This is one of my favorites.

There, I'll stop talking now.  

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
18 posted 2002-03-09 12:21 PM


Chris Hi There, I’m astonished, shocked into silence and that never happens. This is an amazing piece or work, honestly spoken and with real feeling.

Keep talking about hope it is all of us can ultimately ask for. And yes it is there, we just need to stop seeking it and open ourselves to its opportunity.

hope springs eternal
never deny it is there
you can touch the sky



Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

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