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Static
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Static |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
dormant needs surge, vibrations rolling, quaking, impatient impotence cling to bobbing lifeboats, mooring drinking dew from sun-kissed grasses here I stand in open view before the gaze of gods not true awaiting the whim of their pleasure. ...and I barter with the darkness that seeks to overcome me in lonely concertation that condemns my deceitful soul; salty darts pierce my eyes as conviction drenches me; every word embedded deep, extracting justice’s revenge for my carnality. ...and how I have fallen from grace and the reach of mercy as I drown in the hell of my own making; those biting stones crushing my bones to dust behind marbled halls of regret. Haunting sounds of laughter exaggerate my folly. ...and echoes of spiritual truth reminding me, "what has light to do with darkness?" In misery I wither, imprisoned by misguided desires--utterly deceived. When light submits to darkness, every heart fails. ...and I lament among the broken shrines, monuments to things I could never hold. Like fast moving freight trains out of control, I am shattered on impact against terminating cold. Here the ghostly screams of broken memories again beguile and chide. ...and ceremoniously defiled would in comparison be holy, contrasted against the sacrilege of my unforgiven sins listed and checked over and over before me. Standing condemned without trial, sentence passed without verdict. *Disclaimer: This was written quite a while ago, just took me forever to polish it up, but it's not related to any life situation imagined or real.  Just an exercise. Thanks! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Dulcinea - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
I like this. As an exercise, it succeeds very well. "When light submits to darkness, every heart fails." I especially like that, in real life, I mean. Good work. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is done very well...James |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
I liked this as well. |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Fantastic writing! Glad you are not suffering such whirlwinds of wildness, now. I believe that a lot of alluded-to darkness metaphors are just fantasies for man playing games with illusion, as pure love, no matter where it is found, is wonderful, full of joy, peace and satisfaction, without that guilt and shame stuff. I believe that guilt and shame are always lies. God does not make sin! God makes love. Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher [This message has been edited by Silver Streak (02-18-2002 05:11 PM).] |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
an enjoyable read. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Dulcinea - for just an exercise this is quite a writing. Wow... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (BIG HUGGGSSSSSSSS) Oh my gosh, this is sooooooo wonderful, dearest friend, I love it, I think this is a wonderful view of asking for forgiveness and understanding! (smiles) We all love you so much, sweet friend, God Bless You! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Some kinda imagery here! For what was this exercise written? Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Interloper: The imagery is one of a heart being put on trial for crimes it never committed yet were endlessly persecuted for. The exercise was one of just cleaning out a very cluttered attic of the last remnants of that falsehood. Thank you for replying! Noah: Hi Noah, and thank you! Hum, yes, I suppose in a way you could say that, the idea is to purge the guilt and leave the goodness. Thanks again for your sweet reply! Bill Charles: Thank you Bill, I am very flattered you enjoyed this! Effigy: Thank you so much! Silver Streak: Newell, you are right all these metaphors speak of someone in a marriage who can love only the illusion of their own expectations, causing the one whose love is real to feel ashamed and the guilt of sinning when no sin was truly committed. That is what happens when expectations are not met, or ever voiced, and the offended party feels justified in "punishing" the offender. This is certainly not what God intended and this person has learned that, so in a sarcastic sort of way, they are purging the wrong message with the undertones of agreement. Thank you for seeing that! *God Bless Jeff: Almost missed you! So sorry for that! Thank you for reading and replying! JamesMichael: Thank you James, I am glad you enjoyed it. Mirror Man: Thank you, I especially enjoyed that line as well and you are right, it is taken from a real life experience long ago. I am glad you liked it! All, I suppose I should have said it was based on real life, just not anything recent. Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful replies! [This message has been edited by Dulcinea (02-19-2002 02:12 PM).] |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Very nice...and for an excercise it is quite true for many of the curve balls we are thrown in real life. |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Thank you Amusemi! your right, I guess you could say that this could apply to nealy every relationship where the two people involved are not on the same page. *S* Thanks again for the reply! |
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