»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #19
»
Beyond the gate
| Open Poetry #19 |
|
Beyond the gate |
|
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
|
You may walk slow or may be brisk, You could be calm or you could frisk, But, you enter at your own risk, Thus it read at the gate of life. Throwing all caution to the wind, Thinking do it or be chagrined, There being no sense to rescind, He walked through the tall gate of life. There it was, something never dreamt, To comprehend it was an attempt, So wasteful that laze came to tempt, He slumbered by the gate of life. Forty winks and few yawns later, Out came a huge alligator, Who lured, then pounced at matter, He met death at the gate of life. His conceit led him to be frisked, That he chose to downplay the risk, Should rather have walked slow than brisk, When he went through the gate of life. Should have read the signs at the gate, Rather than trust the hands of fate, A folly, understood too late, Once he ran past the gate of life! ... |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ 'He slumbered by the gate of life.' A little folly with a profound message tucked inside~ Good to see you, friend~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
interesting images and flow... not your usual style but an expansion that seems to suit you well... I enjoyed |
||
|
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
you have some of the best "turns of phrase" I have ever read  Well done my friend. Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
||
|
Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
Quite an enjoyable read Sudhir...good job! |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Messages with humor,wrapped up in a brilliant write. Sandra |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Wow, I just love the transition of emotions in this poem, sweet friend, it seemed every stanza he was getting closer to the gate and recognizing the significance of it! (big hugggsssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
brilliant writing. well done Sudhir.... On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
ah, now I like this my friend. . . a good flow and rhyme scheme, and a very interesting story and moral to boot. . . well done. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Sudhir~ I found this very i nteresting...and a good right....enjoyed... Lauren~ ~Greeneyes~ |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all so very much... you all are so very kind... Regards, Sudhir |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I enjoyed this one very much...a great write |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Should rather have walked slow than brisk, When he went through the gate of life. Should have read the signs at the gate, Rather than trust the hands of fate, I should have read this long ago, Sudhir... before my steps slowed, my eyes dimmed, and trust became only a memory. *S* I love the humorous twist to this good advice... well written! |
||
|
2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Excellent story line and rhyme. Thanks, Melton |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all, my dear friends... and Many regards, Sudhir |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
