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Open Poetry #19
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Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door

0 posted 2002-03-30 11:09 PM


I walked past your house last night
Where we once lived
You walked past a window much to my delight

I know you have other men in your life now
For he followed you across the room
I must find the will to let go somehow

I just wonder if he knows how
You like your eggs fried
Wonder if you remember how I tried

But now in my drunken state of dementia I see clearly
That I am only good at tormenting you
So instead of letting my hurt manifest upon you

I will find a way to lose myself into the ever gentle darkness
So no one will feel my rage except myself
As I in total nakedness lay under the dark side of the moon

Wishing for death to be my friend
Bringing my demented thoughts to an end
As I am lost to the ecstasy of a long ago time

When my thoughts were not of the grave
But of the love to you I once gave
But now I am all but a memory

Alone, exactly how I belong
All but gone for view
And soon to be removed from your memory

alan

[This message has been edited by Alan (03-30-2002 11:10 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Alan - All Rights Reserved
HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
1 posted 2002-03-30 11:27 PM


Yes memories do torment and tease
although memories lovingly spent
are worth keeping , strange how they manifest just before sleeping
I can feel your aching heart , its so hard letting go , the pain can often send one insane
Hope

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
2 posted 2002-03-31 01:10 AM


alan,
this is a very good poem.
would you mind if I made a few suggestions? Thanks in advance.


                I just wonder if he knows how
                You like your eggs fried
                Wonder if you remember how I tried
You like your eggs fried!
I wonder if he knows
I wonder if you recall how much I tried


                But now in my drunken state of dementia I see clearly
                That I am only good at tormenting you
                So instead of letting my hurt manifest upon you
instead of letting my hurt manifest upon you
in my drunken dementia I see
that I am good at tormenting you


                I will find a way to lose myself into the ever gentle darkness
                So no one will feel my rage except myself
                As I in total nakedness lay under the dark side of the moon
I lose myself - act like a loon
so no one feels the rage except myself
as I lay naked under the dark side of the moon


                Wishing for death to be my friend
                Bringing my demented thoughts to an end
                As I am lost to the ecstasy of a long ago time
wishing for death to be my friend
I am lost to the ecstasy of long age
and of bringing demeented thought to an end


                When my thoughts were not of the grave
                But of the love to you I once gave
                But now I am all but a memory
when my thoughts were not of the grave
all I became was faded memory
of the love to you I once gave


                Alone, exactly how I belong
                All but gone for view
                And soon to be removed from your memory
alone that's exactly how I belong
gone from view, removed from memory
with nothing but the strength to carry on


I hope you don't mind. Feel free to use or discard these suggestions.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2002-03-31 09:57 PM


Hey Alan, good to see you again. Interesting piece on the manifestations after love has been lost, realizing it must be let go, yet still clinging on to it. Love the title too.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300
MA, USA
4 posted 2002-03-31 10:33 PM


Alan...This poem was your heart's cry put into wonderfully poetic language.  I can understand well your heart's torment.  I've been there. I will keep you in my prayers, Alan.  I know God can heal that broken heart and fill it with His love and His life.

***Ivy Rose

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