Open Poetry #19 |
My shirt likes to stay tucked |
Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169 |
My shirt likes to stay tucked far into my pants. I prefer my Oxford buttons buttoned up to the collar, and my zipper zipped up to my leather belt. And its tongue is pushed through and through till the metal prong pushes through the ninth little slot (as far as it goes), buckling me up tight. (or with sweat pants, my strings kept firm) And my coat jacket knows it's supposed to be strapped as firm around me as can be, just as my book bag's straps are jacketed up so they fit quite tight harnessed surrounding me. I keep my doors locked, even sitting in a car even while driving through modest villages, from here to afar. The loops of my shoes are always kept tight, a perfect bow right on top,as my neckties are kept tied, as myself is, too. Myself I like to keep tucked from all the world like my shirt in my trousers I like to keep hidden, my coat's straps keeping me warm to myself. There is one, however, that I've allowed to start unbottoning my shirt button by button; after she unstrapped my coat and shared in my warmth, adding a little bit of her own. Right now she's a little bit below my navel; one day she might even untuck my tails. [This message has been edited by Streen (02-18-2002 12:22 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sounds like a man who has it all together...until it's time to come undone... enjoyed this! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
BRAVO!!! Such wonderful voice and cadence fills your words, sweet friend, this is fabulous! We all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Streen, thank you for sharing! Love, Noah Eaton [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-17-2002 10:52 PM).] |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
i enjoyed it. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Streen sucha a neatly buttoned and wrapped up poem! And when that shirt gets untucked, will those shoelaces loosen up too? An enjoyable, unique read. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
and i am like an untied sash opened like a robe, my heart unfolded on the green of lawn in between jupiter and birth, trying to find my feet to walk upon the earth, still orbiting the worth of miracles. ............ whoops!! you inspired me!! you are a very talented writer and i tuck this verse of yours into my library for future reading..... your use of metaphor and imagery is superb and your phrasing is excellent... thank you for allowing me to let you inspire me here. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
This is so enjoyable to read Streen, loved it. floria Floria |
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Bella New Member
since 2002-02-15
Posts 6Ohio |
This poem grabbed my attention right away...I like the way you so creatively described the process of "letting someone in". I enjoyed very much. above everything else, love one another... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This is very well done! *I don't know what came over me but all I could hear in my head was that song...'You can leave your hat on'* LOL...have no idea why! Great write here. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~ |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Incredible use of metaphor here, very effective. I, too am reminded of a song, 'Sharp Dressed Man', ZZ Top. Really enjoyed this, Streen. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Loved the dapper dress code you set for yourself. The twist at the end leaves a lot to the imagination. Nicely done~ |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
*bump* |
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