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Open Poetry #19
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ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA

0 posted 2002-03-20 08:50 PM






The Clock Shop

he knew it was time
the pristine gold fob could no longer keep up
and he lost more than minutes each day
dependent on his father's bequeathed
it was a chain that needed unlinked

cobblestone roofed, the ticks resounded
as both warning and enticement
sand falling from his sandals
as he entered the clock shop

Grandfathers weighted with pendulous advice
Alarms armed with waking strength
Tiffany's twirling with diamond precision
all the tocks ticking
pounding at once, drumming their insistence
that each second counted

his heart beating could not keep up
with the ticks tocking
like fists beating on his chest
like voices that whisper as one
but shout as 24.

his decision made
he purposely stuffed the timepiece in his jacket
rejuvenated like an infusion of insulin
still they clammored
hammering against inner brass balloons
mocking and mimicking with bombing throbs

a bestilled silence
outside the clock shop
he had to look just once with relief
at the time he had bought himself:
the only watch in the store
that did not tick

and did not work


[This message has been edited by ShadowRider (03-20-2002 08:51 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Picasso Lyrics - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2002-03-20 09:05 PM


Jeff, now this I really like!  Of course I say that about each one you post, but, there is something about an old watch, or anything for that matter handed down in the family. Broken, running, or not.  

This left me with a knowing smile on my face and THAT I guess is why I enjoyed it so. Hugs.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
2 posted 2002-03-20 09:12 PM


Jeff darling boy OH MY! Such an outstanding and beautifully crafted piece of writing this is utterly utterly wonderful. There’s something particularly pleasing about this piece, seemingly simple, but it’s the construction that makes it appear that way. A very special piece of writing indeed. YOU are a fabulous writer you know, utterly fabulous


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-03-20 09:18 PM




YAY!!! Ooohhhhhhh...this is soooooo wonderful, sweet friend, your words are always packed with "timeless" beauty! (big huggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is superb! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jeff, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
4 posted 2002-03-20 09:22 PM


Nancy, you are a most generous lady; gracious to a fault!
Sure would like to know what that knowing smile betrays. . .hmmm
I had several things in mind when i wrote this, all plausible reasons
for the ending.  One was to distance himself from family dependance.
the others....well....take 3 ibuprofen, and call me in the morning
after your Headache subsides!  hehehe  Jeff

Maaaaaaaashaw:  What a treat to read your encouragement.  Still i wonder if this
is the right forum for this kind of work, but who's to say, right?  *s*
I was hoping a reader might have their own opinion of what this was saying.  
Maybe its just my style, but i like to think there are several facits to each poem,
with no definitive explanation, except from the reader's own experiences.

Thankx so much, and both of you, enjoy your day tomorrow
and don't forget to keep your clocks wound.
Jeff

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-03-20 09:23 PM


Shadow this is so wonderful, I just love the sentiment in here, and the picture of that quaint shop truly added to the poem. great work. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
6 posted 2002-03-20 09:24 PM


Noah:  i think, at some time or another we have all had a favorite timepiece.
Now, as i get my first grey hairs (triple yuuuuch), i would like one that
would keep time a bit slower.   Is that what they mean by:
Daylight Saving time?   I wonder.....then again, i may just be nutz!
Jeff Thankx mon ami!  Very much!

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
7 posted 2002-03-20 09:28 PM


Evening Floria!  Dang nice of you to reply so quickly!  Couldn't you just spend
weeks browsing those kind of English quaint shops?  I shudder each time i go into
Wally-World with its anesthetic appeal and all.  ~braaaaack~  
Was going to write something more supernatural, but i will save that someday
for a short story instead.  That's actually what i feel most comfortable with: short
stories.  Thankx Floria, for fillling me with a happy glow tonight! Jeff

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
8 posted 2002-03-20 09:46 PM


Now there’s a good idea…buying a timepiece that doesn’t work. Does that mean time stands still? That you somehow get more hours in the day to do the things that never get done? If that’s the case, I want one like that!!
By the way, did you take this picture Jeff? It’s so quaint and looks like it’s a clock shop in England. Your poem made me picture walking into that store and hearing the ticking of all the clocks within.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
9 posted 2002-03-20 09:54 PM


Hey Tracey!  Que pasa, amiga?  No...didn't take this picture; i live in the Midwest,
but there are plenty of shoppes like this around my hometown.  
here is the link:  http://www.clock-shop-winchcombe.co.uk/
the meaning of the stopped clock:  perhaps he no longer wanted to be bound
by time, not of his own making;
perhaps time has less meaning for him, and its easier for him to think of it
as non confining....
perhaps he has exorcised some demons this way.....

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
10 posted 2002-03-21 09:02 AM


Well, you know how I interpretted it...all wrong! *LOL* I still love the way you write, the phrasing is so unique that everyone can come away with a different view of their own world from the images you create...beautifully done sweetheart!
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