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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-03-15 08:45 PM

Eleven P.M. Mist

Standing on the street corner
bathed in artificial sunlight
from the all-night street lamp;

smelling gutter stench of old leaves
and two dead rats;

listening to hungry howls of an
alley-Tom (remembering my own Tom once
called Mr.), and even this alley-Mr.,
though hunger stricken,
passes by rancid rats.

Mist comes in, cooling my face
after April’s warm afternoon;

but now chill sets in,
in the eleven p.m. mist,
this cold and
chilling eleven p.m. mist.

Wish to go home, do I.

But then beggars would ride horses
with silk manes.

Eleven p.m. mist blankets my body,
my body,
not thin,
not fat,
not in-between;

if I sleep tonight, only my spirit
will stay to be cooled by
the eleven p.m. mist.

~*~

Circa April, 1970
©KRJ
17 October 1999
revised
15 March 2002

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-03-15 08:51 PM

(big hugggssssss) Wow, this is very hauntingly beautiful, sweet friend, I too have felt the cold crisp air at night as early as 1 in the morning and it too gives me this kind of impression too sometimes! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is excellent! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2002-03-15 08:59 PM

WoW! Karilea, you originally wrote this is 1970?!
But...but..that would make you about 5 years old!
Seriously...this is so hauntingly beautiful!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2002-03-15 09:11 PM

Gosh KJ...hard to put a feeling in words
about this...very very good....that is
obvious....somewhat mysterious and haunting.

Easy to feel the mood...

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

4 posted 2002-03-15 09:16 PM

Karilea, hey girl you have been a good writer for a long time. Love this. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2002-03-15 11:40 PM

I HATE mice, rats, possum, and those other things in the desert - oh yes, armadillos! If it wasn't you I would have "x"d this poem as I know I will have nightmares for sure! LOL, and no wonder you are good, no fair...you were good even back then - sheesh I wasn't even born yet

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
~* Albert Einstein *~

mirror man
Senior Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 814

6 posted 2002-03-16 12:08 PM

Very good description of the scene. Enjoyed this.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

7 posted 2002-03-16 01:38 AM

Brings so many thoughts to mind ... wonderful writing

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2002-03-17 03:57 AM

I'm really getting quite a cool visual scene out of this piece and I love the wording.
However, I can't seem to see you there because your body is neither thin, fat nor in between.....hummm....such a misty cool scene....Love it!

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

9 posted 2002-03-17 12:59 PM

Kari darling sister of my heart OH my this is incredible writing, you see how good a writer you are, you’ve always been excellent. The imagery you’ve used here is outstanding, the flow construction and presentation are superb. Is this good? Yes it is very very good. Actually it’s better than that but there’s only so many excellents I’m allowed per day and I shall soon run out of them

:loveya

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

10 posted 2002-03-17 01:30 PM

That’s neat to be able to go back so far and find poetry from back then. You are and excellent writer now, and you were an excellent writer then. Glad you posted this Karilea.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

11 posted 2005-02-24 04:59 PM

Holy cow! You were THIS good THEN????

Sometimes you amaze me!

.....most of the time, in fact.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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