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Open Poetry #19
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Warrior’s Gift : Choka
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Warrior’s Gift : Choka |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Broken solitude, Mu-shin was a farm girl plain, Interrupts writing, Jisei in ink for blood stain, His last battle poem, Overwhelming his attempt Yet unwavering He travels where honor sent Quietly she waits Bowed and begging forgiveness He writes of glory That death is life’s greatest test, The last word is wrote, He sends Mu-shin for some tea Waits in the garden, Flowering in fresh beauty, Plain farm girl hurries Knowing only how to serve No choices to make, Samurai can never swerve From honor given Sipping tea he does prepare, To travel his path, Like Mu-shin also does share No choice to make. He mounts to fate to ride Mu-shin gets Jisei he scribed. Gloom a Jisei is a Death Poem written before entering into a battle that is known the warrior can not win, it usual shows and reminds of the honor that the death bestows on his family |
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| © Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
So sad PF, but we have to comprehend the customs of those involved and try to understand their belief system as well. I really enjoyed this one of yours and it will be one of my favorties for sure. I loved the content, format, and the feelings that came out of this one. The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Aszard, this is so very sad, I understand that this is an important tradition of their culture, but it does seem so sad for the families that each warrior leave behind and facing death in battle and leaving behind these poems which bring grief to loved ones eyes! (sigh) This is such a powerful emotional choka, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Yes, honor, death and sadness. The other side of dishonor, life and gladness. Fruits of family love in and unfriendly community. Just die "for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away." NIV Psalms 37:2 As I could not choose The time or space or my birth When placed on this earth In rigid society They taught me all that I know To war I must go Defending my family Killing men I see And knowing it is hopeless As they will kill me And I now prepare to die And do not ask reasons why. Just die ((Gloom)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Mysteria You praise me highly, I am pleased you enjoyed. Thank you, Mistletoe Angel, These poems were not for grief, but honor Glad you enjoyed. Thank you, Silver Streak, Again you give a wonderful poetic response Honoring me with it. Gloom |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Yes Gloom I have heard of this where one dies for honor, that the family is honored in their death. I still think it is sad, but of course that is their custom. I learn a lot from you. floria Floria |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I want to learn how to write like this! I love it too much! I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Such courage to write thus, knowing that by fate, it will be the last written poem. (I'm afraid my poem would read: Send help..I will run endlessly..if you search..I'll be hidden behind that tree.)  |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Strbbux, If I have entertained then my work is successful If I have taught, then I receive a bonus For what else can I hope to do than give a little Light of Knowledge from my shadows. Thank you, SkyFire, It’s really quite simple to do, Find a quiet room, get a cup of tea, Write the number 5 on one side and 7 on the other of a piece of paper, Get another paper with a pencil or pen Starting with the five, Write a thought from within you, Writing it down to save Then flip the page to seven And write another, One line five and one seven, Continuing on Till you reach an ending point Then write another seven. Thank you, Poet deVine, Glad you liked the poem But I think you would do better than that, You’re probably that courage under fire type. Gloom |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A very interesting story...I forgot how to do a choka..so I went searching for some Chinese poetry sites..tried one, used one of yours for the pattern..probably didn't do the poem I based it on, any justice. M |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Nakdthoughts, Pleased you enjoyed my words, Choka are just expanded Tanka Gloom |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
This one is very very good, yes sad, but the honor thing ... gotta respect that...This is a keeper Sir Gloom.... |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Zinsser, Some people believe honor is more important than life. Pleased you enjoyed this piece. Gloom |
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