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Siofra

Senior Member

since 2000-09-28

Posts 551
State of Suspended Passion

0 posted 2002-03-06 05:27 PM

one true witness to laziness
tripping on words
demensions of the heart wandering
entwining themselves within the brood
of lethal indifference?
Is this indifference?
I don't think so.
this is another moody me
slapping herself
waiting to fight the real battles
for she has done the ones of blood
and rage
and tame love gone too wrong.
the inkeeper dares to find a partner
to share the treasures she stored away.
She's mixing herself with me again.
A heart lent to adventure
she masks so well the need to explore
the caverns of danger.
Do you understand this?
one true witness to laziness
tripping on words like traps
when her eyesight isn't too sharp
for such an old one.
a lethal indifferent inkeeper seeks love
and spies him wandering in in shrouds
headed for a corner table.
What will he have to drink today
she wonders....

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound:" "Romeo and Juliet"

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-03-06 05:34 PM

like this..the flow and the language mix to lead the reader on.... nicely done....nicely done indeed.

perhaps today
the cup you'll taste
before the time does end

perhaps today
you'll see the time you waste
and take this drink my friend

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-03-06 05:40 PM

WOW!!! This is poetically powerful, sweet friend, your wonderful words always amaze me and have me thinking, I pray that we can all win our battles with self-love and step over every trap before us! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is excellent! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Siofra, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

3 posted 2002-03-06 10:43 PM

What a story this poem tells! It is so good that for me it ended to soon. I wanted the story to go on and on. Great descriptive imagery!

Shenachie

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-03-06 11:02 PM

this is another moody me
slapping herself
waiting to fight the real battles
for she has done the ones of blood
and rage
and tame love gone too wrong.
the inkeeper dares to find a partner
to share the treasures she stored away

It is quite a transition. Like this part especially.

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

5 posted 2002-03-07 10:12 AM

Perhaps, he will have something special from the reserves.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2002-03-07 04:30 PM

a glass of life. . . yes. . .

well done here. . .

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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