Open Poetry #19 |
A flower's tears |
Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169 |
On thy cheek--a single tear Is to me a drop of dewmist; Gathered from the early dawning Into the rosy petal's midst. As does mist coalesce into A hardy mountain frigid stream, Alike thine eyes the water through, Flowing down thy floral cheekbone. The banks and beds of this petal, Sparkle lightly amidst their shores, As your eyes are alit with tears, A lucid ray the sun outpours And that light beaming far above Casts a shadow through cloudy skies, Which forms the image of the dove Alighting on a nearby tree. Watchful of the single droplet, the stain upon thy rosy cheek, It beats its wings with joyful chirps, To uplift thee --drooped and weak. When morning comes to the two, Let aurora glisten freely, So cascades the droplet through, My love awaiting softly by. -Derek [This message has been edited by Streen (03-04-2002 08:23 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always bloom across these pages like flowers with loves beauty! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is gorgeous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Derek, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
"When morning comes to the two, Let aurora glisten freely, So cascades the droplet through, My love awaiting softly by." Derek I could have hilighted the entire poem. I liked it a lot. especially this verse. floria Floria |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
On thy cheek--a single tear Is to me a drop of dewmist; Gathered from the early dawning Into the rosy petal's midst. As does mist coalesce into A hardy mountain frigid stream, Alike thine eyes the water through, Flowing down thy floral cheekbone. The banks and beds of this petal, Sparkle lightly amidst their shores, As your eyes are alit with tears, A lucid ray the sun outpours ============================== this is fantastic writing...the vocabulary, phrasing, cadence and imagery are most impressive. Very well done!! So it seems your saving grace was only saving face, |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Beautifully written piece. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
...my love awaits softly by. The whole thing was good, but this... what love abides, a very beautiful and tender sentiment. Nice. ThisDiamond |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Streen Very beautifully done!! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
"So cascades the droplet through, My love awaiting softly by." Lovely write, my friend, and a terrific ending... jwesley |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I enjoyed this very much... well written! *S* |
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