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The Ways |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Some of you used to be pretty way back in the day and her fingers used to graze the skin before you took them and flung them and wrapped the bones too tight for them to feel like they could touch your world or plaster the hair from your face to her head We'll be gone to be beautiful we'll be gone to be dead I'll be holding your hand you'll be holding my heart in your fingers and you will smoke your cigarettes trying hard not to forget that I am the one you came for. See, I am reading all his poetry those words you never spoke to me, it didn't matter anyway I hate to hear this guitar play the songs that you wrote for her on the back of napkins paper things, the photographs, the history of human beings and milkshakes, left to run dry on the table, when you left my side to hold the door for someone else they'll be gone to be perfect they'll be gone off to bed he will be holding her heart she will be holding her head in her hands and the voice from the victrola tattooed on her skin screams "I never know just where to begin." [This message has been edited by Allysa (11-20-2006 10:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
A little bit oblique (and need to add the missing 'd' to 'holing'), though I do catch the basic gist of remorse and auto maso-sado wielding the cat o'nine speaking with lashes 'what have you done, what have you missed, what have you left of the one who loved sans strings?'. Would be interesting to know the backstory to this one, or if it was merely a fractured momentary image passing behind your eyes. And give Serenity-Sis a hug for me when next you see her.  |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Alicat: your reply made me want to try to.. clear it up a little bit, and figure out what I was thinking or feeling when I wrote it. Instead of figuring it out, I wrote more. I think that initially, I was feeling overwhelmed, and a little spastic, which may explain why it seems to jump around a lot. I think that I am going to try to analyze this line by line, to see what I come up with. Thanks for your comment. <3 |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Nice addition which does add weight and fluidity to the work. And if ever you get confused about any of my remarks, run em by Serenity. She's ma sis and knows me well. |
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