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Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2006-03-01 03:15 PM

The woman that I met at the zoo
With her baby in a white dress and
A ribbon in her hair, she’s
In the hospital now, she told me
That I was beautiful, her nephew was
Truly lucky to have someone
As pretty as me, and I wonder sometimes
Why people see what I don’t and, you know,

Something about her, it stuck with me
Like the lipstick on her teeth
And the rocks inside my shoes as we
Walked circles around the empty aquarium
Where the sea lions used to be, before,
Before the clouds rolled into town,
Before they were shipped to Texas,
To somewhere where they could live

And she was there, and she saw it all
And I can’t possibly know what’s been
Making her crazy, no one knows why
People simply change their minds about
Life, living, laughter, love, lots of
Simple things that you cannot see
Through the broken homes and trees
And all the thought of how it used to be

When her daughter was a baby, just a few
Months ago, and the city filled with water
And the houses, they were marked with
Spray-paint characteristics that, to this day,
Indicate a world that we saw, safely sitting
In front of our televisions, watching as the
Waves rolled in and thinking that survival
Is an instinct, you either have it or you

Lost is sometime, and she’s losing it again
And no one knows why, but I can guess,
I can try to assume that she’s tired of being
The person she has been, and she’s tired of
Seeing the same broken reflection, the same
Broken person, the same broken city, shards
Of beauty, salt in you eyes and the wind in
The curls of your hair, telling you it’s over.

© Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2006-03-01 09:47 PM


what heart!

What lines.

Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2006-03-01 10:39 PM


i may have to go back and read some more of your recent stuff, Alyssa.

you have made some incredible strides in your writing since some of your early stuff i remember reading (not saying it was bad, just saying this is way better!)

i love the flow, the grit, the real of this. it is raw and emotional and comforting all at the same time... kind of showing that no matter what's wrecking us, there may be someone who cares a bit.

love it, keep going!


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2006-03-01 10:48 PM

Again, I commend you, for writing pain that I can't seem to even come close to expressing without resorting to the bitchy tirade, and telling others "you just don't know"...adding distance when I really need just a hug.



It's HARD. And my words have failed me, but if I can, I offer you the hug, as you say it so much better than I can.

All I do is cry now yanno.

Thank you, for being my voice during some very, very confusing and difficult times.

(I feel relief when I read you, because I think, "someone understands."

Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2006-03-03 05:07 PM

Thanks, everyone, for your comments.

Serenity.. I remember barely watching the news through it all, because I knew I couldn't understand it if I just saw it on the television. I couldn't imagine what it was like, simply seeing it and being so far away from it, and I really didn't understand it at all until I saw it for myself. Does that make sense? The entire time we were traveling to New Orleans, my boyfriend and his brother were telling me about how the city was going to be so different, they had both seen it before the hurricane and they couldn't imagine what it would be like. Me, I saw it for the first time and I thought it was beautiful. The first day we got there, we walked around the quarter and I just thought it was beautiful. And the people, they were so nice, and everything was just.. mesmerizing. I can't get it out of my head. Everytime I stop thinking about school, or work, I start thinking about New Orleans. Like, I was never a part of the city before, I don't have the memories of shopping for Mardi Gras dresses, or making gumbo, or getting married somewhere on Toulouse (I think that's the street - my boyfriend's parents were married there), and I was only there for a few days, but for those few days it felt like home more than any other place has. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I wanted to tell you this. I've never felt a part of a place more than I did when I was there.

And I want to give you a hug.

Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2006-03-04 09:09 AM

"I can try to assume that she’s tired of being
The person she has been, and she’s tired of
Seeing the same broken reflection,"

I am  stuck on you right now...because I can feel your words and greatly appreciate your insight.

Wonderful writing...


Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
6 posted 2006-03-06 01:11 AM

Alyssa.....this was so very heartfelt!  It has left me speechless.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2006-03-06 02:19 AM


thank you

and Toulouse St. is pronounced as:

"Too Loose"

stern look

with winks

danke' and yanno of course,

"we're all gonna die"

but ask us if we give a shtreet...

we are, of course, "too loose".

Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
8 posted 2006-03-06 05:32 PM

Very touching Allysa....I love the way you look from your heart.  
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
9 posted 2006-10-04 12:58 PM

Down, down, down, to one we can't retreat into generalities as we read, we must feel it one-on-one. That's excellent technique in action, with excellent results.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>

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