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Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-05-04 09:27 AM


The night is cold and crisp about
compels the naked eye
I'm drawn by pupil on a thread
to gaze into the sky
But what I see there when I do
Is not what I'd expected to

A tendril from the earth's bright tail
it saw the birth of man
A comet on the whiplash trail
showing God's Master Plan
In my eye the world is captured
In my heart I am enraptured

Without fear, without desire
and letting dry my tears
The sound of such magnificence
is music to my ears
The thunder that caresses me
Is all that I could wish to see

Nature seduce with her rhythm
Father calls by my name
I lie in clover and see my birth
embraced in lack of shame
The comet shrills the ancient days
I hide my face in wicked ways

"The wind shall be your mirror, child
its song shall be your bed
Thus close your eyes for greater things
and use your ears instead"
Such wisdom is the comet's voice
My concience rings, in need of choice

I dip my hand in thirst for more
ears prepped my site is gone
I only muse the comet flies
into the wash of dawn
And in pursuit  the child will learn
I hear you God, You will return

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
1 posted 2001-05-04 12:46 PM


I think you guys did an outstanding job!  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2001-05-04 07:37 PM


Wow..this is great!!! Now tell us how you did it, ICQ or EMail..was it fun??? What advice would you give to those other teams still writing (or doing future duets)?

  

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-05-05 12:25 PM


Wow, ya'll did a great job!  I can't wait to see the other duets that come out of this!  Bravo    Kudos to both of you.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-05 01:00 AM


This was great. You two worked wonderfully together!!!!!!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2001-05-05 03:48 AM


Wahooo, hey you two, this is GREAT, you make a wonderful team.

I hope to read more fromyou, you Dynamic Duo!

Maree  

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-05-05 04:29 AM


wow..great job..you guys did well on this..
an awesome piece..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

7 posted 2001-05-05 09:14 AM


This is a beautiful piece! You two are a great pair. I told you I wouldn't be disappointed!  

So, when will you two be working together again?

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

Elizabeth
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Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
8 posted 2001-05-05 11:57 AM


This is truly outstanding!! You two work so well together.  
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
9 posted 2001-05-05 06:14 PM


Well it was easy really, Miss DeVine yuh We waited to the last minute and cracked it out in style over ICQ where memories are made. O YUH!


Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
10 posted 2001-05-05 06:19 PM


O yuh is RIGHT!     
*slaps Walt a high-five*

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
11 posted 2001-05-07 02:45 AM


um.
what am I meant to say here.
This is brilliant!
Loved muchly, u guys..
Well done..
-Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
12 posted 2001-05-07 03:04 PM


All the duets i've read so ar have been incredible, and yours is certainly no exception.  this is beautiful work you guys, i hope you work together again in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2006-09-29 08:53 PM


Good grief I miss a lot....I was IN that duet experiment, did a duet even....and missed this exquisite poem!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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