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a submission |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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tears streak across my face, wandering from my eyes onto the worn out pages of the life i have lived the pen i hold in trembling fingers defiying my mind, it swirves in time with the music all the voices of the past i had forgotten a picture emerges from the contours of my page and the crests silently fall up and down on my fingers now, a long black streak that erased my thoughts as i only wish i could be erased so easily yet still my pen moves, pouring out all i had forgotten my emotions let free on the grimy pages stained with my blood and tears and you don't realize how you do anything but stare into the distance, thats all but a reality for your fingers to trace over my words and reflect on the times i was hiding inside of myself within the creases of yours lies, there on a paper in front of me i erase my stains with one word and go on to fill my time with the pen and paper i hold steady in front of me and all i see is you *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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| © Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
all the voices of the past i had forgotten a picture emerges from the contours of my page and the crests silently fall up and down on my fingers now, a long black streak that erased my thoughts ==================================== and you don't realize how you do anything but stare into the distance, thats all but a reality for your fingers to trace over my words and reflect on the times i was hiding inside of myself within the creases of yours lies, there on a paper in front of me i erase my stains with one word and go on to fill my time with the pen and paper i hold steady in front of me and all i see is you ==================================== this is AMAZING... the depth of emotion is nearly suffocating.. the angst is palpable... outstanding expression poetess Riley...truly. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Janet Marie: I can't thank you enough for the kind compliments..........I would like to submit this for something, but I wanted to get some thoughts on it first...thanks again Janet... Riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
One thing I always like about your writing, Riley, is your ability to always make a thought-provoking and significant title. A lot of people (such as myself) lack that ability, and you should be very proud of yourself for it. Like Janet, I have to say I love the way you formed your thoughts here, your unique grasp of language and imagery really shines in this piece... the ending took me off guard, but I very much liked it, it brought the whole poem into the title and completed your thoughts beautifully... Hope everything's okay with you Ri. Much love, girlie-- Brian  |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
bri.... thank you so much for how nice you are....i was waiting for your thoughts on this, as i can always count on them. i am glad you liked it, as always i enjoyed your comments... riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Great write Riley! "the pen i hold in trembling fingers defiying my mind, it swirves in time with the music all the voices of the past i had forgotten" I loved that line! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Riley...wow...you never cease to amaze me with your talent. You write with the depth of a poet 3 times your age, and you do it beautifully. Yet another excellent write from you...I enjoyed.  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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