»
Sanctuary
»
Poetic Haven
»
Of Departures, Distance, And Destination
| Poetic Haven |
|
Of Departures, Distance, And Destination |
|
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Of Departures, Distance, And Destination Departure I've always known my own limitations, just as I've known I'm the only one who is capable of creating those limits, just as I'm usually my own worst enemy. I've also always found fascination in life's little ironies. Along the way I've learned there is a fine line between temptation and things just meant to be. I'm accepting now that I'm just never going to get used to this distance nor will I ever get good at good-byes. Departure goes against my heart's nature; Driving to the airport, praying an act of God would somehow delay my flight, knowing it was going to take a force of nature to give me the strength needed to leave both you and the tides behind. Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation, it was in that moment, I knew ... without hesitation ... I would have traded those tides for more time with you. Watching you walk away, my body bruised by the restraint I inflicted on it resisting running after you. My heavy heart held me there ... I missed you before you were ever out of my view. Distance How many moonlit midnight drives must I make before one of these roads takes me back to your tides of contentment? How many early morning rides towards the crimson sunrise will return me to the rhythm of the wave's resonating reprise? How many miles must I accumulate before I can acclimate my spirit in your blue breezes once again? What purpose do these road trips serve if they don't lead me in your direction? Driving in circles without destination ... every single white line counts off another time that you are on my mind. Every mile marks another moment that this distance confines, keeping me from where I left the best of me behind. How many river roads can I travel ... how many rocky trails can I hike that would ever take me to the heights I knew standing shoulder to shoulder on a misty mountain side, breathless from the view of blue sky and you. How many creeks can I walk in, how many lakes can I wade? How many river banks can I wander searching for another invitation in the sand, needing constantly to be near water in a futile attempt to recreate the way I felt walking sunswept shorelines holding your hand. Destination So now I ride with one eye on the road and one on the moon. If I drive directly into it will I end up on the other side? Will it pull my tides to a dusk dusted shore saturated in September's sultry solstice? Did you know there is a star in the sky for every time I have missed you? Yet I only need one to guide me back to where I fell for you and for the ocean's hues of blue. 'Map Questing' the miles, trying to find the scenic route to return to where I left my heart in the sand. Watching the weather channel to see if the sun is shining on your shoulders and shorelines. My camera now exhausted trying to capture just one midwest sunrise that could ever compete with the beauty of the Chesapeake Bay reborn in the reverie of an east coast morn. I came back a different woman than I was before. And isn't that the way it should be once witnessing the waves, once walking on a sunrise seduced shore? No longer content to be kept from the blue, each day is another chance to be captivated by the colors, to covet the clouds. Still I ride to where the roads rise, searching for a detour that will deliver me to your aqua allure. Taken by a relentless urgency to find my way back to the sea, I fill my days with respites on river banks ... creek beds and sand bars, sunning on lake shores just to be close to the influence of water, needing to immerse my spirit the constancy of waves. Sleep only serves to keep me from the sunrise and the moon as it makes its midnight reprise. From dusk to dawn I am driven by my desire to see every sunset ... to wish upon every star ... somehow finding solace in the knowing we share this same sky. I have found ways to tide me over till I can return to the blue ... but the one view I cant substitute is the blued brilliance of you.  Moth Math Distance back to the blue: 945 miles 124,608 white lines in 945 miles. (132 broken white line segments in a mile) Estimated 20 billion stars in the sky ~~~~~ "Baby, what is wrong with you and I? Every hello seems to echo goodbye. The time we had it was barely a time to begin, and we've begun again. And all I can feel now is distance between you and me. Endless miles without a smile on a face I can't see. When I can say, "I love you", but I can't make you believe me, because touching is believing. And now I'm tired of waking alone in the night, nothing is wrong still nothing is right. When I've got you I'm gonna hold on, tight." Christopher Jac Hold On Tight [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-24-2003 12:49 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sitting here in awe.... so coming back to take it in.... again, and again.... |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I must still be asleep, this has gotta be a dream....lol!!! Be back when I wake up!  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Some poets have ways of talking right to you, there are no watchers, no eavesdroppers, no witnesses to the truth one speaks when it comes from a heart so torn. Some poets honor more than commitment, keeping trust sacred. Some poets are simply remarkable. I know a few remarkable poets. I am looking at one right now. |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Janet..I am sitting here speechless with the biggest lump in my throat. I know when I read this once again, which I will immediately, the tears will spill down my cheeks. Very heartfelt, so full of longing, so full of JM. A treasure, right down to the Moth Math, which really got me! You are a treasure! Hugs and love ya mothy girl. |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
damn! about the only word that comes to mind...and all I can seem to say... every time I have read it...it ends with me just staring at the screen and saying that one word... |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet Marie....How do you reply with mere words to a piece of heart so open. I can't, but you know. :loveyou: |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet, you know, so many echoes of my own soul I feel here...without going in depth....I know I didn't get half way before I was crying  you are one gifted poetess.  You know I'm keeping this |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Kari ... your awe was humbling...your second reply took that to another level... I only know how to write my heart, but so often now my words fail me. If you found your heart's reasons in this then I know I am doing something right. Your gracious compliments mean so much...thank you seems too little to say..but then you already know. Dunc ... wake up.. and bring your attention span.  Nancy... my goodness!! thank you girlie for such a sweet and enthusiatic reply... you sure know how to make a moth smile. Wasnt sure about the "moth math" ... almost didnt post it.. so thanks for letting me know it worked. Ron ... ROFL .... I had to smile when I read your reply...that "damn" could be taken many ways...damn this was long...damn I wish shed let me edit this...damn that moth does go on LOL All kidding aside..thank you poet sir...for you know that I DO know what you mean.. damn me all you like. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Martie... you just did... and yes sweet poet.. I know that you know. thank you dear one.  Susan ...thank you so much girlie-girl...I had a feeling youd relate to this... and you gotta hear the song too..it aint easy being a moth Im honored to be kept *L*.. thank you. thank you to all for these wonderful replies...I was really unsure about this one..been working on it for a long time... heck..Im STILL working on it...Ive edited it about 5 times now... lol thanks for allowing me to see it thru your eyes All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Girly? There's so much here I just want to take my time to read and reply. I'll be back. Guess I got a little busy, 'cause? There's people OUT HERE too. |
||
|
scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
"Did you know there was a star for everytime I've missed you?"..Truly a write of love...it stirs the heart like the moon stirs the tides...wonderful!! believe in what your heart feels... |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I'm accepting now that I'm just never going to get used to this distance nor will I ever get good at good-byes. Departure goes against my heart's nature; ~~~~~~~~~ Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation, it was in that moment, I knew ... without hesitation ... I would have traded those tides for more time with you." seriously, I just cry a river.... there's more...I'll be back |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
KA ... lol@ peeeepul take your time baby...I'm always around. scorpio .. thank you so much...your reply reads like poetry So nice to see you posting again. thank you for the lovely response..thats one of my fave lines too. Susan ... lets cry us an ocean and sail away Im enjoying you, enjoying this. thank you for coming back and letting me know the words you feel... Ive had that verse written for about 9 months now...it really is the heart of the poem. thanks girlie All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I came back!  |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
It's hard to add to all that deserving praise, but I'll try. The imagery, the emotion, the way you seperated each part of the piece... just wonderful. Each part of the poem had an identity of it's own, but they tie up and flow together so easily. Personally, I can really relate to this piece, so I can say with all honesty that it moved me very deeply. Just beautiful... Oh, make me Thine forever |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love it all, but that opening verse made me smile real wide: I've always known my own limitations, just as I've known I'm the only one who is capable of creating those limits, just as I'm usually my own worst enemy. I've also always found fascination in life's little ironies. Along the way I've learned there is a fine line between temptation and things just meant to be. You have captured that Gemini thought process, thought so fast it folds over on itself--I think of it as "hamster in the wheel" syndrome. Just all the twists and turns in the thoughts that eventually make ya wanna scream "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH" Tee-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, oh I love ya Jannie. Again, it's like I'm inside your head. Or you are in mine. Made me wanna pace and chain smoke--you captured that quality for me. Three poems, Jan. Heh heh. Congrats on the birth of your triplets. I love reading you, because it is always so INTIMATE. I feel like this one was written on your pillowcase, using tears for ink. love ya lady. Saving this, yanno. |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
OK if I take my time too????  |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
LB... thank you so much...your reply was beautiful too...thanks for letting me know the flow and mixing of the three parts worked...I was worried bout that. TY KA... you handing out cigars?? LOL ... this was one long labor...I've been working on this one awhile...So glad you understood that first verse...wasn sure if I liked that opening...all I needed was a sister Gemini to let me see it thru her eyes and your tears and pillow analogy... now thats poetry.  Duncan??? Get off the porch and pee in the grass rofl All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation, it was in that moment, I knew ... without hesitation ... I would have traded those tides for more time with you. Watching you walk away, my body bruised by the restraint I inflicted on it resisting running after you. My heavy heart held me there ... I missed you before you were ever out of my view. -------------------- exactly!!!! -------------------- Driving in circles without destination ... every single white line counts off another time that you are on my mind. Every mile marks another moment that this distance confines, keeping me from where I left the best of me behind. …. I knew standing shoulder to shoulder on a misty mountain side, breathless from the view of blue sky and you. …. needing constantly to be near water in a futile attempt to recreate the way I felt walking sunswept shorelines holding your hand. -------------------- exactly again!!!! -------------------- Still I ride to where the roads rise, searching for a detour that will deliver me to your aqua allure. Taken by a relentless urgency to find my way back to the sea, I fill my days with respites on river banks ... creek beds and sand bars, sunning on lake shores just to be close to the influence of water, needing to immerse my spirit the constancy of waves. Sleep only serves to keep me from the sunrise and the moon as it makes its midnight reprise. From dusk to dawn I am driven by my desire to see every sunset ... to wish upon every star ... somehow finding solace in the knowing we share this same sky. I have found ways to tide me over till I can return to the blue ... but the one view I cant substitute is the blued brilliance of you. -------------------- exactly thrice!!!! now you know what makes you thrice as much brilliant and even more... you know how to pen what you feel in a most decorated way... to be you must be so special... you are blued brilliance and tide taken and you are celebrated and a celebration... regards to you, my dear friend, Sudhir |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I knew there was something calling me over here... but it whispered so softly I didn't get here quickly. *S* Watching you walk away, my body bruised by the restraint I inflicted on it resisting running after you. My heavy heart held me there ... I missed you before you were ever out of my view. Gulping over the knot of know in my throat... This is superb, ma'am... yeppers, it is! *S* |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Words so pwerful will surely cross any distance to their destination, Janet. As for deparures, well they just plain suck, don't they? This was heartwrenching to read in such vivid detail as I can remember all too well being on a quite similar road once. (sigh). Even so, it was really quite beautiful. I'm glad to see you're still the same old Janet Marie -- so full of emotion it just flows from you. Don't ever change that about yourself. Michael |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I've always known my own limitations, just as I've known I'm the only one who is capable of creating those limits, just as I'm usually my own worst enemy. I've also always found fascination in life's little ironies. Along the way I've learned there is a fine line between temptation and things just meant to be. every single white line counts off another time that you are on my mind. Every mile marks another moment that this distance confines, keeping me from where I left the best of me behind I fill my days with respites on river banks ... Sigh Janet, I don't have the words. Such a fine out-poor of your heart. I'm keeping this. Maree |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sud ... oh my, what can I say to such a generous and endearing reply but thank you THRICE *wink* You sure know how to make a moth smile ... thank you groovy guy...very very much. Ruthie-girl ... yes... I know you know... and I know that knot well...I wrote the "departure"/airport verses back in Oct. and its taken me this long to be able to connect with the words and not choke on the emotional lump, *sigh* .. it aint easy being a moth you know. *smile* I had to smile at your "whisper" ... was thinking this one was more like a runaway train. LOL Thank you so much girlie, for moseying on over here and finding me. Michael ... HEY YOU!!!!!!! Do you know how wonderful it is to find you here!! thank you so much for your kind words, you humble me and make my mothy heart smile ...thank you. So, any chance of getting to read some of your amazing rhymes? (you knew I would ask) Hope life is treating you well my friend...I think of you often...you will always be special to me and many others here. Maree ... thank you sweet poet girlie ... I am honored to be kept by you *L* Im sure I am in fine company. Thanks so much. ~~~~ thank you again to all who came by and shared your thoughts with me. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Seriously JM...there is but one word to express exactly what I feel after reading this true treat of tigerboy trip tales, TTTTTTT-errrrrific!!!!! |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Cute....reaaaaaaal cute porch puppy... me thinks youve had waaaay too many frosted flakes. Thats OK...I've been dissed by WAAAAAY COOLER people than you |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Pee in the yard, diss the moth..... anything else I can do for ya Jams??? Wanna see me stand on my head and spit nickels? Cooler than me.....good one!!!!!!  |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
what else???? Oh...if I answered that...I'd get booted out of here for being crude and rude. I sure will be glad when they get you housebroke ... Quit peeing on me poem ya porch poodle.  |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
What can I say that hasn't already been said? I'm typing this through tear-filled eyes. This is just such a HUGE piece of your heart, and you have shared it as only a moth can. Every word...perfect, and every one touched me deeply. I always feel so privileged when I get the chance to read your poetry, and this?...this is definitely one of my favorites. I'll be coming back to this one, over and over again. I had to smile too, at Karen, because as I was reading that first stanza, it honestly reminded me of her...and then to see that that was the one part that she chose to quote? Gotta love it. You, my mothy friend, are my hero in poetry. Love and hugs to you, friend.   "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (06-27-2003 04:41 AM).] |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
JM, I could have copied endless lines that jumped out and swept me away here. My, this is a wonderfully powerful and emotive piece. Your phrasing and imagery are excellent Janet Marie.  I absolutely loved these particular lines: “Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation,” “Driving in circles without destination ... every single white line counts off another time that you are on my mind.” Oh, and my absolute favorite … “Did you know there is a star in the sky for every time I have missed you? Yet I only need one to guide me back to where I fell for you and for the ocean's hues of blue.” My, oh my oh MY, gator-gal …. your writing continues to expand and grow richer with each piece. Truly, this is exceptional. I loved it.  Best wishes and hugs to you, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (06-27-2003 09:39 AM).] |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I've always known my own limitations, just as I've known I'm the only one who is capable of creating those limits, **************** At least you are smart enough to create those limits. You know me. I create my UNlimitations and pay the price. Now it is my turn to learn from you. ****************** I'm accepting now that I'm just never going to get used to this distance nor will I ever get good at good-byes. Departure goes against my heart's nature; ***************** Nor will I accept this distance and as for departure .... We in heart and soul shall never depart. ***************** Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation, it was in that moment, I knew ... without hesitation ... I would have traded those tides for more time with you. **************** Almost as bad as me shark bite huh? **************** I could go on copying verses and lines but I think for now ( until your poetic response from me goes up) Stayed tuned for the |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Vicky-girl... it is I who is the privileged one to have such a lovely and generous response to my writing...and privileged to be inspired in this way that I can find the words that express all I feel and also touch others who have felt the same way. Thank you very much for allowing my words to reach you and for sharing that with me. You honor and humble me with your sweet reply. Kit... my dear gator girlie... there you are my smile waiting to happen... your reply will keep me smiling for days..thank you so much sweetie...any growth in my poetry has got to be credited back to this special place...I have learned so much here and found so much inspiration in the talented writers here and bonds formed from the poetry. Thank you me groovy girl Mark ... your reply reads like poetry...and I sit here trying to find the right words to say thank you for inspiring so much in me and for all that you have opened my eyes and heart to since we met. As you know we're coming up on 3 years now... thats a whole lotta miles babe. Thank you MC for all that you are in my life ....and as for that response... take your time..I know youre working a lot of hours right now...and besides...Im not going anywhere... youre stuck with me. I love you too..but then you already know that...its a moths job to make sure you never forget it, or doubt it. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me because touching is believing. c.j. [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-27-2003 07:31 PM).] |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
A little teaser for ya but not what you will get in the end. Add to it and spoil me a bit will ya. I sit here amongst tanned legs of the bay Listening to the words of children at play Waves assaulting the sands of endless time Swaying at the base of another seagull chime Fragrance of oils clothing bare souls of sun Sprint on each breeze in milk of coconut run Traced in walls of departed castles in sand Resting in the palms of our hearts in hand |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
OH YEAH!! my fave--MC poetry....beach inspired poetry... what could be cooler...  the moth will be back... gotta drag me muse in from the sun and make her earn her keep All I can feel is this distance between you and me. I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me because touching is believing. c.j. [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-27-2003 07:54 PM).] |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I came back to this... for while the entire poem is heart-gripping, I particularly love Departure... if one can "love" watching their heart walk away. *S* But as I'm settling down to read moth-words that flutter gently on a heart, I get distracted by the responses... and ROFL just doesn't quite fit the mood? LOL So I'll just tell you to hurry up and lasso that cowboy long enough to finish the duet... and remember I have no patience! LOL |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ruth...patience???? what does that mean? not in a moths vocab! LOL Well, I sent some verses to the cowboy, but with the hours hes working I aint gonna hold me mothy breath LOL (and it is beach season you know) So we will see...(we can keep each other company while we NOT SO patiently wait) But I thank you muchly for coming back by and visiting me again...be careful though... if ya read this one enough times ya might go moth blind LOLthanks Ruth-girlie. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Did you know there is a star in the sky for every time I have missed you? Yet I only need one to guide me back to where I fell for you and for the ocean's hues of blue. came back a different woman than I was before. And isn't that the way it should be once witnessing the waves, once walking on a sunrise seduced shore? No longer content to be kept from the blue, each day is another chance to be captivated by the colors, to covet the clouds. And on top of all THAT you missed it 20 Billion times? Lady, you sure as heck can write when you sit down to do it. And...it is really worth the wait. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sharon.... well I hope my muse will stop making me wait so long between outbursts LOL but I do so thank you for thinking so. As long as I worked on this one...I should have written a novel..but I have to admit that I am happy with the end result..it was special to me and I wanted it to be just right. thank you dear one for coming by. |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Your title isn't "adjective-noun," and that blows my mind (still allits though). Love your little math thingie at the end. Hoo boy... well I didn't reply to this one in a long time and it's because I'm lazy. Yes, I'm lazy. Lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy. Oh well... happy Canada day! Brian's going to reply to your poem now. quote: When it comes to the fine line between creativity and cliche, you're your own worst enemy. (couldn't resist!) OK so I let that ruin the intro for me. I know, I know, I'm too picky with that sort of thing. But I really have a hard time tolerating things like that, and it's my fault not yours, so don't let it phase you. Otherwise the introduction isn't bad as far as introductions go. It's hard to start a poem but you have a neat method of starting your poems, you kind of reach back a little bit (I've always known) and set out the theme that's going to be discussed in the rest of the poem. Kind of like how you'd write an essay. It's nifty. quote: And she comes back to nature. Going to take a force of nature to give you the strength, hm? Because departure goes against your heart's nature, and you can't help feeling that "this is wrong," until something nudges you in the direction with "this is what must be?" Hugs, JM, you precious soul you... quote: Regard! Elle rime! You know I can picture you staring out at the road with this sullen look on your face, covered up by a bit of forced, happy conversation, your eyes on the little white dots rushing past you. And for some reason it's raining too, but that's my imagination, so forgive me. "Saying goodbye was like amputation?" Hmmmm heh... that's kind of nifty actually, I've used that one before too. I told my ex "I love you like I love my arm." She didn't think it was so romantic. But uh, maybe I should have phrased it more like you did. Oh yeah... but I know how it is to lose a part of yourself. Never easy. Especially the moment hanging in suspension where you have to watch the departure take place, powerless to do anything. quote: I like that bruised-from-the-restraint thing. Very cool... and the last line fits this entire canto just perfectly. Missing someone isn't always a question of their geographic location. You can miss the person sitting right next to you, because you're already waiting to see them again, already waiting for all the things you shared to happen again. Man it's depressing, though. quote: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. Ahahaha... but you have to admit you ripped this off just a little bit, hm? You and that colour blue. Don't ever get tired of it? It's fine. You have a theme, I understand. quote: Beach imagery, beach imagery, beach imagery... JM, can you take me to the beach someday and point out all the things I'm missing? I've been there before and never quite taken in what you have. Can I borrow your eyes? How about your brain? Hehe... Water is nice. I read at a young age that water is astrologically linked to Scorpio, and I went for that--I loved that zodiac stuff, it was so neat. Then I went and never learned to swim. But there's something divine about water, I agree... it reminds you of summer, of the beach, of the vastness of the planet that stretches from shore to shore. It reminds you how huge and frightening everything really is... excellent choice of symbol, that's one very near and dear to me. quote: Lazy eye? Hehe... quote: You and your imagination... I always love your "if--will"s, this one is no exception. It's an example of desparation, isn't it? Your mind wanders to the extrordinary, extreme and unworldly in hopes of gathering some kind of hope. This part of the poem shows how genuine your feelings are, that you are capable of such thoughts as this... quote: Ok, that's a bit lame, but I forgive you. Just because the rest of this rocks so much.  quote: Oooh... that last part, I know how that is... I've actually done that before, checked the weather in someone else's part of the world to see if the sun was shining for her, if it was raining, or whatnot... but that you consider this a part of destination is interesting. Is that a way of reaching the person? Some method of interaction, just trying to get inside their mind and see and feel what they are feeling? quote: I love "aqua allure." That's one of my favourite parts of the poem. You and your little habit of finding strange and unusual combinations of words and colours... and that alliteration of yours, I wish I could think one letter at a time like you seem to. You're coming back to the water again, this time blatantly expressing the importance of the water's symbolism in your life. How it makes you remember, and you want to remember, so you return to it as much as possible... quote: That will to live is the most powerful part of this poem, in my opinion. The desire to see every sunset, wish upon every star (my cliche alarm is turned off, don't worry), driving you... not wanting to waste a drop of your life and your experience. That taste for beauty is one of your best qualities, JM. Don't ever change that about yourself, ok? quote: You went and made this a tribute. Haha... I know it's one long and descriptive tribute to the beauty of one person, which you've done before and do a lot (it doesn't get old, don't worry), the description of something so striking and beautiful that doesn't even come close. Geez, where are the women like you in Winnipeg? Where I can't find them, if anywhere...  quote: Psst... you're adorable... Much love from your friend in the north, Brian Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Bri..there arent any moths in Canada??? Well groovy guy as always you read me well... I had to smile at your comments about the intro...you got that poetry eye thing going on about you LOL You saw right thru me..I think this poem, more so than any one Ive written...was the hardest one to start...Some of this ones verses were written nearly a year ago... and to tell ya the truth...that intro..which was one of many..was one of the last verses written and I was still unhappy with it..but decided there comes a point when we spend too much time and that it was time to lay this one to rest..So Im not surprised at all that you found it weak...I just decided to let it lack rather than tweak this thing anymore..LOL Sorry bout tripping the cliche alarm...but I guess thats just the way of the moth when shes writing her heart... as always... we seem to agree on fave lines...cliche or not ...So tell me...is the blue theme tired now? played out? hmmmmmm....the poets dilema... you see Im still feeling it all like it was yesterday...still feeling the inspire...guess I need to find new ways to say it...or maybe go back and read my poetry...only writing once in a BLUE moon heh ... I forget what the last ones were about word for word.Well Im rambling here..the moth is tired..been up since 5 am...so I'll will get to the moth point..and say thank you my dearest bugboyeeeee *L* as always I am grateful that you give me your time and insight... We cant grow if we dont know. thanks Bri-babes. I'll read your poem tomorrow after I get some sleep...I want to be focused and well rested so I dont miss anything. Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first. (bumper sticker humor) [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (07-14-2003 12:12 AM).] |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
"Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation" __________________________________________ Could that line be any cooler, any more powerful? Your images are brilliant... JM, it's good to read you again...and here I thought that you weren't posting anymore...go figure. As always I relate to pieces of your poems, and this write is a testament to your strength as a writer, you just keep getting better and better. Hugs, Melissa Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Fantastic writing JM epic soul-journey |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thank you to Melis and Raph...so cool of you to come find me in the haven thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement...hope you'll come join us in here sometime... its a great place to test out a new style of poetry..or to do a duet with someone or just enjoy a slower pace...allows us more time to explore the poems. "I'm good at two things and this is the other one." |
||
|
timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
OMG! This (and not meant to offend anyone) has to be the best thing that I have read in a while. It seemed to have touched deep in my heart, I loved the entire write but I have to say...that the following line spoke a thousand thoughts for me... "I came back a different woman than I was before." Gosh! That one line was absolutely beautiful and still sits on my heart and mind.... This was absolutely EXQUISITE Janet!!!  |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Had to come back for another 'fix' of moth poetry. This just gets better with every read. Love and hugs to you, friend... "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
timothysangel ... thank you so very much for your lovely compliments and encouragement of this write... and for sharing with me which part effected you, it is always helpful to us as writers to know what lines reached out to the reader. thank you for your generous and kind praise of my work. Vicky-girl... better be careful, if ya read moth poetry too many times you'll go blind LOL ... thanks so much for finding this one special, it is for me too. thanks to ALL who came by and shared some of you with me. "I'm good at two things and this is the other one." |
||
|
Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Saying good-bye was like amputation ... as I surrendered to all degrees of separation, it was in that moment, I knew ... without hesitation ... I would have traded those tides for more time with you. Watching you walk away, my body bruised by the restraint I inflicted on it resisting running after you. My heavy heart held me there ... I missed you before you were ever out of my view. Oh Janet... Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Janet - I have just taken every writing instrument in my home (including makeup - I have used eyeliner before) and tossed them to the wind . . . This is THE best piece I have seen in a very long time and I am truly in awe of you This: Every mile marks another moment that this distance confines, keeping me from where I left the best of me behind. God, yes yes indeed . . . Amazing xxoo |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Dee ... yes.. I know...and yes...you know. miss you round here girlie. Sue ... thank you seems too little to say for such a wonderful encouraging reply... you humble me with your lovely compliments.. and I thank you so much...I worked a long time on this one and wanted it to be special...I was honestly unsure of it when I finished...I guess Im just too close to it to be able to look at it objectively... all these very cool replies helps me to know I acheived what I was going for. Thanks to ALL who responded so graciously. and to MC ... my inspiration and light in the distance. "How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you." |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Bingo this -- you are right in everything you said...everything. I miss so much by not visiting these side forums.....you wrote a piece of me in this one, and better than I could have written it. Checking Library box....NOW. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
A real gem. One I have read over and over. D |
||
|
Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I was just wandering around and noticed this Jem, I missed it before. What a lovely piece. Do you still miss the water arch moth. I miss this place and your pen. Nice to find this even after this long. Parker |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
