now i lay me down - pipTalk Forums

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Tramp Poet
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

0 posted 2003-02-09 06:06 PM

Lay Me Down

early morn, again
she grubbles
as she stirs.
warming my feet
hard days night
she smiles, welcomes.

wonderful...
the love seen
likely, never to know.
the width, depth
she has it all
does it show?

A turn, a sigh
squeal or three
warming cold sheets.
welcome lil snuggle
followed by ecstasy
I lay me down to sleep.

early morn, again
blankets oh so warm
sleep chasing, peeking.
warming my soul
hard days night
she smiles, g'night.

~~~~~~~

[This message has been edited by Tramp Poet (02-09-2003 06:08 PM).]

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2003-02-09 07:01 PM

I love this... this is such a sweet poem.. wonderful for valentine's day. I'm glad that you have someone like this to write about. Very well-written

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-02-10 11:14 AM

Sleeping in is so awesome. I've experienced sleeping in with another person in the bed with me, only a couple of times though, and I know it truly is a nice feeling. While I don't have much room to relate to this poem, I found it very sweet... and like Erica said, perfect for St V's Day.

Lovely work, Tramp Poet. A very enjoyable, heart-and-feet-warming piece. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

3 posted 2003-02-11 10:26 AM

Heh! Grubbles! I've never heard that before. This is suuuch a huggy-feely-good poem. Makes me want to snuggle someone myself.

~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
-el sol
--Zwan

Tramp Poet
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

4 posted 2003-02-11 06:31 PM

thank you muchly for the input...
lol "grubbles" started out life as grumbles and evolved past murmurs, etc. Ended up a fabricated word that I think illustrates the half awake "let me sleep" state?
Was concerned my pursuit of economy left the piece too "sparce" for good interaction. Perhaps making the reader do too much work putting the pieces together? Lol, seems economy of words is the path I am currently chasing...odd for a person of words.
anyway, thanks for the reads & writes!

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