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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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we name each other straying from sight on long-windex beaches trudging toward the days where everything is right inside us strolling and tugging on each other 's-seams we smile on fortuna and her light-broken prism grown gowning her chalky skin spit let the white night in [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (01-13-2003 07:05 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This one's tough to understand, Carly (like I should expect anything else by now), but I'm going to try. Bear with me here, and if I'm way off, correct me please.  First, it seemed like you were describing an internalized hope for some happy delusion, for a state of joy and happiness between two people, "straying from sight on long-windex beaches," in other words, walking on clarity but not using it - looking forward when the option exists to look down. Windex beaches, clear and perfectly transparent, that you "trudge" upon instead of looking through. You "name each other," attributing hopes to one another, walking together towards the same goals of deluded happiness... Maybe I'm reading my own feelings into this one a little bit, heh... could be that this poem is tugging away at some of my already existing sentiments, bringing them to surface... but that's really what I see in here, and I have trouble interpreting it any other way. Brian "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
ah, another poem i've been meaning to reply to, but just haven't. *slacker* carly anne.. you've stumped me on this one. i usually atleast have one idea as to what your work is about but this one is baffling. you always do that so well. :p *wubs you and misses you* loved this bit dear: quote: the trudging makes me think you move toward this good thing which you like. which is completely the opposite of what most folks would do. the spit /really/ messed with my head... i'd love an explanation of this one, love. *smoochy* “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Interesting poem, though I must ask what you mean by "fortuna" and the "light-broken prism grown." These terms confused me as I read the poem. Other than that, though, I think this poem has a very dark and mysterious edge to it. I like that kind of an edge. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks a ton guys... Fractal, Fortuna's sposed to stand for fate. This is really about my struggle between acceptance of my life and all the tactics I do to change it or defy it, especially when relative to my somebody special. The light-broken prism gives image to the sort of sketchy, shattered feel to something I once revered as "lightful" or giving understanding. It has encompassed fate..."gowning" her...Heh, I know there's a lot to be read between the lines, but I hope that helped at least a little bit. Thanks again for reading.~Carly empty-armed |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I appreciate poetry with lots to be read between the lines, as you say. You've done a good job displaying the struggle between the idealized self and the acceptance of the real self. Your glass is an appropriate image. We can see the world through glass and yet we can also see ourselves in it. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I'll be back to this one. Mhm, for sure. ~Titus  "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Well, I'm finally back, O' Starchild one, and I'm as stunned and smiling as before. This piece is right up my alley, but better then I'll ever write. Smashing.  ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (02-26-2003 03:42 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The placement of your words shows wit and wonder on this windex world. You should submit to the book. |
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