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Long Into the Night ( old woman challenge)
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Long Into the Night ( old woman challenge) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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My thoughts today about this picture: On Being 95 ... Taking a ride this morning, I thought about you, and how you were left behind, when you had wished your death instead of his, declaring to all that it wasn't fair that he left you without friends...all gone, when being 95 is not of happiness. I remember sitting with her that day, after the funeral. Both of us off in a corner, me missing my Grandfather and she wailing her loss, and I tried to engage her in conversation, talking about soap operas that she liked and listening to her complain about the sons and daughters-in-law that never seemed good enough for her children. I thought about my father who adopted two children and married my mother, having three more and sloughed off her remarks about him. I recalled someone telling me once, that if you are a bitter person when young, that it becomes twice over when you are at an advanced age...and I think to myself now, how soft and gentle he was and how it was she that ruled the household, kept it together, even in the hardest of times, the depression years. And to see her in this new time of depression, made my heart cry out for her and my tears blend into loss and of a want to touch her in such a way as to let her know I have arms, and they can support her if needed.  ~~*~~ Long Into the Night She was lost in the night staunchly sitting there cornered with her thoughts. Her handkerchief filled with sorrow, monogramed with memory. If someone had only told her that she would have outlived him and all of her friends, she would have wished life ended. Staring blankly, she was an illusion of strength, until upon closer view, her wounds wept and the soft moaning could be heard escaping through her stubborn lips. Time was hanging on, her watch of platinum, an anniversary gift over fifty years ago, still ticking away the moments, as she watched and wondered where it all had gone. Yesterday was her forever, today soon to be a thing of the past and her tomorrows in question. Still she wouldn't let on, the fear racing inside and the loneliness wetting her cheeks as the tears of being left behind, continued long, into the night. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." (Will Moss) [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (01-13-2003 04:10 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Very heartfelt... I especially like your description of time, and the despairing anticipation of the future, of things to come - the awareness that present becomes past, future becomes present, and future will end.... when compared to the statement that she would have rather died first than last of her friends, it makes it seem as though she's waiting for death. A sad tale you've composed here... to me, genuinely disturbing and heartfelt. Retrospect can be a cruel state indeed. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
it was all truth...when my Grandfather died, my Grandmother said to me she had no friends anymore, no one to go to, and yet my Grandfather still had friends who came to his funeral. Then she said to me, "Do you know why I have no friends??? I said no, why and she answered, "because they are all dead, all my friends are dead." Let's face it, she knew that the time was coming for her to go into a nursing home and she dreaded the thought...as I will too, if and when the time comes. Thanks for the response. M |
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