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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Poetic Haven |
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Daisy |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground? With leaves crushed beneath the careless feet of passers-by To fuse bruised petals to a stem that no one here had found Beneath the mud that was ingrained on her without a cry None, you say, can make the daisy come as new again She will decay until she’s gone without a trace upon the ground No trace of fragrance lingers there, no, nor a trace of sin No trace of little childish songs, she’ll die without a sound… What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground? The sun said, “I shall shine upon this little daisy here Perhaps my rays will perk her up, will make her sit and smile My warmth will make her sit straight up, to make her gather near My light to soak all things I give. She’ll sit up in awhile!” But the sun shone upon the little daisy, but there was no avail The rays were harsh and dried her up, her green leaves turned to brown… What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground? The rain said, “I will come and pour my life upon her head I’ll fill her tender shoots and made her stand up straight and tall Then none will ever think that she would ever pass for dead Water is the substance of all living, after all!” But the rain came down upon the shoot, but there was no avail No evidence of living in the daisy could be found What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground? The rosebush saw the daisy that was tramped upon the ground He saw that none could help this life, though the sun and rain had tried He said “This daisy here can’t live as once she did in this old ground But I can give her life, I can restore her life!” he cried So the rosebush stood over the daisy… he took a breath… and died The sun and rain and all of nature cried out to the sky Oh, never had Heaven and Earth heard such a mournful, saddening cry! The soil couldn’t sustain her life, so the rosebush died for her! Though roses are much more beautiful than plain daisies, as you learn The sun and rain and all of nature watched the stony plot To see the daisy stand and grow from the place where she had laid But alas, not a thing grew up from the wretched little spot “What a waste of beautiful life” were the words the sun had said… But then, they saw a little sprout pop up from ‘neath the ground! Then two! They grew and opened up and smiled without a care But not a daisy anymore was growing to be found Two big, wonderful rosebushes were standing, blooming there… Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ [This message has been edited by LoveBug (01-09-2003 08:58 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Heavy into the symbolism now, are we Erica? I really, really enjoyed reading this. You said you wanted me to come in here and tear up your meter and rhyme, right? Not going to happen.  I noticed a few things that made evident how new you are to metered poetry (like your almost overuse of the word "without"), but that didn't take away from the power and message of this poem. It's full of intrigue and depth... I read on eagerly, awaiting the conclusion and trying to predict what it might be.I didn't even realize this was about Christ until I was done, and you said, two beautiful rosebushes sprouted up, instead of a daisy. Then I looked back over it and let out a big "ohhhh" that won me stares in my computer lab. This is very well written, Erica. You're really improving, it's so good to see this caliber of poetry from you. Keep up the great work, girl.  Brian It's amazing the effect ice can have on the world. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
You know you loved all that attention, Brian.  Erica! This was just beautiful and very well written, dear. heh The first mentioning of the rosebush and I figured it was going to be about Christ. I loved all the images and symbolisms you used in this. Did I say this was well written? It's one of the better works I've read along this subject matter. Great flow and rhyme scheme as well. It all just fit well... -Really- enjoyed this read. ^^ quote: “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” ..You can't fight the tears that aren't coming.. [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (01-11-2003 07:05 PM).] |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Thought I'd add this to my library. You're gifted. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
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