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(T)he (D)ating (Ga)me
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(T)he (D)ating (Ga)me |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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(this is completely retarded. I wrote it while I was waiting for someone to come back from "brb" and the last thing she said was "we should watch it sometime." I apologize if it seems to make almost no sense, I was trying to shroud everything and make it sound as nonsensical as possible. Fun with connotational purpose? I guess so. But the words sound like they mean what they mean, which is my direction. Thought you could all use an explanation...) we should watch it sometime We all the cold could frisk away Be merry, chill-and-warm-contrary Simple, very, naught be merry And bid you merry christmasday sounds good to me You hear it pop, behind-above-beyond The sound of shrill popcornicopia I love you, marching-mangled grim dystopia A murky summer pond to drench our feet You look like beauty, frazzled-mess'd to-neat fizz-drinks popcorn and couch-watching-movies all comfy sweaters in a dim sliding light eyes transfigured and pointed similar, arms entangled in the (mallow)chill of a calm night We arms and hands and legs and hanging heads Perhaps it is by future cast To introvert the present-past And all could be, what think of me What think of we, o what could be? "A-bippy-moar" the music said "A-bippy-moar-and-moar" kept quiet, but kept still, hanging delicately downward, rested wonder-o-window-sill silly children watching movies like silly children watching the bird in his plastic black cocoon spin top-to-back endwise and being happy We'll watch it all, few hours still O wonder, carpent-windows ill Could be a-more, a happy tone Sun myself, you are my stone and being happy [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (12-25-2002 11:27 PM).] |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
How our thoughts can wander when we're discarded by somebody we care about in conversation. What a vivid, emotional journey you have taken us on, my friend. I really enjoyed it... Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
What a weirdo.  I loved this. Nice use of word-maker-uppering and use of actual words to mean..well..something...weird.~Carly A ruddy drop of manly blood |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I will have to put this into my library especially for further analysis. The sounds you've chosen to use and the apparent moods in your language are masterfully drawn, I must say. You hear it pop, behind-above-beyond The sound of shrill popcornicopia I love you, marching-mangled grim dystopia A murky summer pond to drench our feet You look like beauty, frazzled-mess'd to-neat This was great. The end of the first line is almost magical to me, the movement it causes in my mind's eye. All in all, though perhaps difficult to understand, I think this is an awesome poem. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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