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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-11-04 03:06 PM

Nostalgia terrifies;
a slow sink to "when"
from the knowledge of "what."

Each dark slink of beat
pounds bloodless time;
history naught.

A studio moment,
etherised vinyl,
among speakers caught.

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

1 posted 2002-11-05 02:49 AM

the ears of younger
self
sought
nostalgia
in old sounds
a sadder when
a bolder now

a richer Amazon

huh
this struck a chord
because I spent 50 bucks on Amazon
buying
music I listened to a dozen years ago
Jane's Addiction
Soundgarden
and they reminded me
and you reminded me
and it's called
nostalgia
and I have to sneeze now

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

2 posted 2002-11-05 02:59 AM

"Nostalgia terrifies"

oh damn, mikey... IWIHWT!

and this "Each dark slink of beat"
god.

you know, i read you constantly ... and can barely reply. but i lurk and seek you out, consistently... please keep writing. you are so talented, and there seems such a lack of vision in this world sometimes... you have it. believe me, you HAVE IT.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2002-11-05 08:03 AM

Mike, Mike, Mike. What do you do with your poetry besides post it here? Do you submit it? Do you share it with the world in some other than forum way? You should you know...this is exceptional. And now I'm going to dig out my old CD's...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-11-05 12:00 PM

brian,
Amazon and I are business partners. As in, I give them money, they partner me with CDs. It's a sickness, but a beautiful one at that.

Liz,
thank you for your kindness(es). I get too down too easily.

Sharon,
believe me, I'm trying to expand. I keep a constant stream of mail heading off to magazines and such.

Enjoy the music.

(now I've got Enjoy the Silence in m' head)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-11-05 07:43 PM

A studio moment,
etherised vinyl,
among speakers caught

and captured so beautifully by our squirrel painter poet...(and yep, went silent again...I've decided that typing is okay tho.)

Hugs you...it's about e mail time? Need an update!

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-11-06 12:49 PM

E-mail headin' your way!

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

7 posted 2002-11-10 01:05 AM

Great write squirrel dude. (yeah, it's me)
You do have a certain something yanno? I'll just call it a "voice". But one that is unique to you. (I KNOW you can't be liftin' this stuff)
And vinyl? ain't that what old guys and "renaissance" folk listen to music on?
You know, like a giant CD with a tiny hole in it.

Ed

[This message has been edited by wranx (11-10-2002 01:06 AM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-11-11 11:46 AM

Lots more scratches, too.

Thanks, Ed.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

9 posted 2002-11-18 01:24 PM

Very nice writing as usual, Mike. Fun with tercets, I see. They can be a real blast if you have a specific purpose for them. I usually don't go with tercets unless I'm either writing villanelle, or I have a set of separate thoughts that stand away.

It's usually that stanzas with an odd number of lines (especially three) cause the reader to take a pause between each... which is why it's important that the stanzas have a separate, unified element about each one of them. You've done that here... each tercet is, indeed, separate and unified, but run with a common theme. The initial pause gave me just enough time to stop and reflect on each stanza individually, without breaking away from the flow too much. I guess what I'm trying to say is, awesome choice of format... makes me wonder how and where you learned to write...

One thing that I have to inquire about is that you kept it short, with just three stanzas... the way I read it, the absence of a fourth stanza seemed to leave a hole in the poem somehow. It's probably just because I tend to think of stanzas as inter-related... that there's a stanza, then a complimentary stanza, especially when you suggest as much by rhyming the last line of each. SO I don't know, it might just be me after all, which wouldn't surprise me at all... lol. Now I'm sure you have some reason for this... more pause-and-think time for the reader? Separating the last a bit more from the first two stanzas? Ran out of "what" rhymes? Or maybe you're the kinda guy who has number themes in his poems, like... three lines a stanza, three stanzas a poem...

Maybe I'm paying entirely too much attention to the choice of format, but that's what I do, right... and maybe you're shaking your head at me, thinking what a nut... heh... but if you had some specific purpose for your choice of stanza count I'd love to hear it. If not, no worries, I'm only just curious.

Struggling to make sense of my thoughts,
Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

10 posted 2002-11-18 03:41 PM

I honestly didn't realize I was writing in that format. I have noticed poems of this structure before, but I never knew the name for them. I know the poem feels incomplete and halting, and that was kinda the point. Let me explain the inspiration.

I was having a sort of unsettled day, and then turned on the radio to hear Depeche Mode doing People are People. I love Depeche Mode. But over the radio, slammed between songs by groups like Flock of Seagulls and one-hit crap like "88 Lines about 44 Women," the music seemed sapped of its passion and vitality. The radio was presenting this song, this melody, as artifact.

So the poem ended with the music caught between the speakers ... the last line can be supplied by whoever has tuned into a new wave music hour on the radio. Whatever song you long to love again, turned to air and filler spaces.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

11 posted 2002-11-18 08:01 PM

2 lines about 1 fine writer -

you got more talent in your little pinky
then the majority of people have in their entire hand

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

12 posted 2002-11-19 12:41 PM

Awww, thank you, doreen.

I am glad you like this poem.

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