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brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2002-10-28 02:03 PM

I look at myself
in my
mirror
and see the bloated roiling mass
of lies and contradictions
armors of past predictions
shape-shifting ghosts
            of self-definitions
and I am disgusted
and as I turn away

            a flash
                      did I see?
in the dishwater eyes
a
         "don't leave me!"
cry
(a child's voice)
quickly smothered
and clouded over
YES
YES
I heard you
and I am coming......

I arm with a scourge
no---
two
I name them
Sick and Tired
and face
the thing that would be me

It shrieks in the dawning awareness
that this is not a joke
my cleverly constructed self-defeating yoke
wants to live
I will not give
mercy
raise my weapons and CRACK
the skin
        CRACK
              the sins
CRACK
      the gray
                CRACK
                      the hate
splitting atoms
into mist
an orgy of self
destroying this filth
THAT DARED TO USE MY NAME

I don't stop until it's lies are cooling
on the floor
and I kick through it's remains---

"Are you here?
      I know you are"

(muffled sobbing)
       and I lift a flap and there-----
dirtied
bloodied
but alive
I gently pick up this fragile form
and wash it
with my eyes
cradle it
            my original self
and whisper

you are free.......

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-10-28 02:42 PM

"I gently pick up this fragile form"

I wish you could see who I see.

This is YOUR "Jeremiad" baby.

You just let it out--doesn't it feel good?

smile...see? you are free.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-28-2002 02:45 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-10-28 02:56 PM

oh...this one of those goosebump reads--and you KNOW what that means--;

yep *tgh*

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2002-10-28 04:17 PM

I love this Brian!! Did you ever read 'Swan Song' by Robert McCammon? It's about a nuclear war. After the fallout ends, some people start growing a horrible, heavy mask over their face. When it's cracked, their true selves are revealed.

Now that yours is cracked, you can see what we've seen all along. A beautiful, kind man and a wonderful writer.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2002-10-28 06:18 PM

brian

It takes courage to clean off and out, over the years so many things grow callus of misconception. I admire this poem, and the poet.

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

5 posted 2002-10-28 11:58 PM

love-- I wish it were so
       but this body? is a hard habit
        to break.....thankyouIamyou
love2-- mmmmm-hmmmm yes
Sharon-- I use to read McCammon a dozen or
        more years ago, but I don't remember
        that story. Is it more recent?
         and OH! you are too kind lady
         a humble thankyou
Martie-- Yes and I was tired of merely
         filing that callous down
          it was time to cut it off
            Thank you, very much

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-10-29 01:50 PM

The thing that gets me?
That this is a daily occurence...

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

7 posted 2002-10-29 02:33 PM

no Mike
the title ?
another lie, cop out, blahblah
the title should have been
"a much too often for my taste chore"
but that seemed a little too cumbersome
shrug
thank's dude

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