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Open Poetry #18
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Backup one two three
| Open Poetry #18 |
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Backup one two three |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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Backup one two three. I distance you. You distance me. Despite needs that threaten to overwhelm, we sit unmoving on either side of the blackened bridge. If you would first, I would...too I yell, vying for partnership. Trust you? you snort, I can’t. I have done all I am going to do. Its now all up to you, firmly you keep the control. I risk proximity in a last ditch attempt to pull you from the past but you hang on tightly screaming no I won't let go. You scramble to the safety of your vantage point flinging bits and pieces backwards, scoring painful welts. Your wounds so deep you feel the need to equalize. I scan the distance and you are right; it is insurmountable. I want you to do the reaching but my arms stay straight sided. I gave up many years ago; I just forgot to tell you. You distance you and I distance me backup one two three |
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| © Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunset Member
since 2002-01-08
Posts 80 |
Brilliant, wonderful, insightful, left me with a huge smile thinking "Now that's marriage, definitely".  No improvement offered. It's perfect! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yep, this is a keeper, good to see you here again Kathleen--(Kay) |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Yes, this is very good. An unfortunate but too familiar story. But I like the way you say it. |
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woodtic Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 87 |
How sad the past can rule the present. Can cause us words to say that ring so true. In minute moments as we read and see such paralels. We wish it on no one and pray it is of some one else we speak. Liked it. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Yanno... if making up a word here and there would help me write like this, I'd spend my days (and nights) cutting and pasting the dictionary, looking for the perfect combination! LOL I thought the draft was superb... this is simply awesome! I scan the distance and you are right; it is insurmountable. I want you to do the reaching but my arms stay straight sided. I gave up many years ago; I just forgot to tell you. And the next time loneliness and self-pity threaten to overwhelm me, I'll read these lines and remember when... Home run, lady! *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
Sunset, thank you, and yep all too often, that is marriage Kathleen, thank you lady Mirror man, thank you very much Woodtic thank you for your comments Suthern…lady you are too much, thank you for your help on this one…and for your never fail acceptance of my writing |
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