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Open Poetry #18
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FOR WOMEN ONLY" (Go ahead guys, you'll love it - heh)
| Open Poetry #18 |
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FOR WOMEN ONLY" (Go ahead guys, you'll love it - heh) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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Mysteria, Nan, Decaflame, Doreen and our own Miss DeVine, Went on a women's vacation together, Looking for a really good time. They found a special hotel for women, A smallish establishment with just 5 floors. They were especially intrigued by "FOR WOMEN ONLY" signs on all the doors. Said the doorman, a handsome young hunk, "Take your time as you go floor by floor, "And stop when you've finally found, "Exactly what you're looking for." "You can easily determine what you'll find, "Each floor has a sign that describes, "The type of man who awaits you there, "Which makes it easy for you to decide." The women shared their feelings and emoted, Explained to one another why they agreed, Then gave each other feminine high 5's, And entered with all possible speed. On Floor 1 was a sign that advised them: "These men are horrible lovers, it's true, "But they are sensitive to the needs of women." The women laughed as they went to Floor 2. On Floor 2 the sign wasn't much better: "These men are wonderful lovers, you'll see "But they always treat their women badly." Our poets thought twice before going to Floor 3. On Floor 3 the sign gave their spirits a lift: "These men are great lovers, and before you walk, They are also sensitive to needs of women." The women were pleased but decided to talk. After a great deal of discussion amongst them, About the many obvious(?) pros and cons, The women decided, there were still two floors, And thereby decided they would move on. On Floor 4 the sign was very encouraging, "These men have perfect builds in every way, They're sensitive and attentive to women, They're perfect lovers, single, and straight." Well! This sounded (almost) perfect to our poets, And, there was still one more floor to take! After a short discussion they all agreed, Floor 5 was the only choice they could make. On Floor 5 the sign was somewhat different: "There's no men here as you can see, "This floor was built only to prove, "THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE!" Heh |
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| © Copyright 2002 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Mike, don't you know it all happens up on the roof  Kathleen--(Kay) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kay! LOL@roof. With you, I imagine everything happens on the roof, because you are tops! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I am laughing my head off, my sides hurt, thank you for the best laugh I've had in a long time! (oh and the kind words too) heh heh Kathleen--(Kay) A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (01-10-2002 11:46 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, I was going to say something, but then I saw what seems to be your new Constructive Critique guideline.... and all I would do is ignite the spark... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Amen! Cracked me up, Longjohn! |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
you got that right. I'm eager to know what happens next!! "Oh well, back to floor number 4 then!!!" haha this one was great i was rather into it haha |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Karilea - You were afraid of igniting the spark? Yamean you feared for kitties all over the world? heh - Duncan - It kinda hits the spot, doesn't it? |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Long John, Very amusing and how true! I'm hoping to get some neighbors here in the basement in the near future. No women venture down here though. Even pizza delivery girls ring and run. Roger |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Eagle - I've got a feeling that the next step would be for them to get into a huff and storm out of that place after that terrible Floor 5 sign nailed them. There's nothing a woman hates more than for a man to tell her something about herself she has rationalized away already. lol Don't you just love them? I do. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
True - Bad lover, bad guy - eh? I think Balladeer might have a long term lease down there. He's sharing his flat with Toerag. I wish they would have come up to Floor 5 to see me before I retired with Lorelei. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*giggling wickedly* oh you are bad but I think I will stop at each floor and sample the menu leaving the 5th untouched.. I love it LngJhnAg....***big hugs***  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LJA, All I can say is you put five nails in the board. LOL |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
LngJhnAg - tooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhh!! heh heh heh.... BC |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Forget the lengthy descriptions They're nothing but hype and hot air A claim of sensitivity Doesn't mean someone will care! G'head and call me picky Cause I'm looking for something more Than a guy who will sit and do nothing As he waits for a knock on his door. *G* Great job, scalawag... Thanks for the grins!!! |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
LOL!! This is so funny!!! In my mind, as I read on, I was urging our 5 ladies to go up to the 5th floor too!  _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Bill - Thanks for that. Belle - Who says the men just wait? They watch TV and drink beer, and relive their best conquest stories. Did I mention they might be using tools and stuff, too? |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Long John darling boy this was sooooooo funny, I really did love it. I think I've been in that place, but being not overly optimistic, I stayed on the forth floor. I think the men were practically pushing me out the door after five mins I think they couldn't quite handle me. (wicked grin) Wonderful writing darling boy YOU are almost forgiven for kicking kitties,..... I did say almost   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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amigo Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520the earth school |
Here I come from the Women's World Feeling proud at the thoughts that're hurled You know LngJhn....we want THE BESTEST & That's the reason for our eternal quest Don't you worry...someday you might pass the test Keep on trying....that's my request  A funny write, Mike....enjoyed  |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
Now, now Sir, it would seem that you've not met the kind of women that I have met, they're all easy to please. This one's a great laugh. Thanks. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I for one was outvoted! I wanted to stop at floor one But the others, they persuaded That floor two would be more fun Floor two didn’t please them I pleaded, ‘please let me stay here’ But they pulled me along with them Claiming floor three would be better dear Floor three was a wonder! I really wanted to stay But they insisted we could do better And so they pulled me away Oh MY what wonders there were When we got to floor four! I was so excited that I almost chained myself to the door but again they pulled me on higher and higher we’d go and when I saw that sign on five I really started to blow!! How could you do this to me? I’ve not had a man in years No amount of soothing Could stop these lonely tears So if you see me running At a motel late at night You'll know that I am searching For just one Mr. Right!! [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (01-10-2002 02:34 PM).] |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
LJA, Hey, big guy. Lucie and some girls already took this trip! Too funny. Bet it's the same place.LOL  Lucie and the girls take a trip |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok...wiping tears and rofg....this is hilarious...thank you for the smiles my sailor friend |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
LongJohn...funny stuff here....BUT, I can't decide if I want what's behind the curtain ...or what's behind door number three!  ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
not all women are hard to please.... this is so funny though.....  |
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Justin Genius Member
since 2001-04-02
Posts 85 |
"Women are impossible to please"?? I never had any complaints Mr. LngJhnAg.  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Too funny, Mike. If I had been there, we would have stopped at floor three! Sandra |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (giggles) Ooohhhhhhh...I agree....this is tooooooooo much, you are cracking me up! (giggles) Impossible to please? Hmmmmmmmmmm! (smiles) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Mike, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
LOL! This is really funny. But,hey LngJhnAg I'm not that hard to please. |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
LOL..I probably would've went to floor 5 too just to see if I could get something better! You gave me a good laugh! Men are just as hard to please too though!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I feel for you, Mike. It's obvious that so many women have passed your floor looking for better things...poor fella! Let's get together and have a drink to old times. Come on up...I'm in the penthouse |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Hey I have been married three times, And had men like those on your four floors. Yup, I have had mean and charming ones, Who were gentlemen and opened my doors. Long John, bet it never occurred to you The reason I just kept walking, Was I no longer want a man in my life, And trust me I am not just talking. Oh, I love to flirt around a bit, But experience has caused me to say, “You better believe I'm hard to please”, I’m worth treating right, or be on your way. No I didn’t go to the roof to check, I simply pushed the elevator with a finger Thankful after seeing those four floors, That was I was so independent, and single. (ok so I forced it here and there but you get my point right?)LOL, you are too much, and this was adorable and into the library it goes. And if I ever think of settling down I will bring in out to remind me  enough is enough! LOL ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ [This message has been edited by Mysteria (01-11-2002 12:35 AM).] |
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pandora Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184 |
purrrrrrrrfect poetry for feeeemales.... (ever write one for a feeeeline?) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lng Jhn even I could not go so far as to say that women are impossible to please...however hard to please seems to fit very well...James |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Impossible to please! Long John you are a tease you know it isn't so We want someone like Toe and we'd be filled with cheer if we hooked Balladeer Larry C is cute although the point is moot when Bill is there to write and show us sweet delight so many to choose from we'd work from sun to sun My point I make is this although girls you try to dis You'd jump at the chance if offered our romance You needn't say were picky when choosing Tom or Dicky The truth to tell is at the font a smorgesborg is what we want. Keth, who loves ya despite your humour. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
LngJhn, it is amazing that a mere man can work us out like this. Actually I found someone on the third floor, just have to convince him. Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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