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Canuckster
Member

since 2002-01-09

Posts 285
New Mexico, USA

0 posted 2002-01-09 10:32 PM

WOUNDED BUTTERFLY

Calm reigns within the sleepy confines
of a child’s precarious cocoon,
where silk strands weave a subtle pattern
against foreign assault.

Rumbles felt first upon a winter’s night
precursor threads ripping and a gangly caterpillar
thrust into a rusting Studebaker
under the shadow of a drunken father,
framed in the doorway,
burned into the screen.

Still pictures of racing pavement
viewed through rotting floorboards
and moonlit snow stained with fleeting shadows
as rivers crossed fade behind
and a rocky shield swallows a fleeing family.

Years pass; small flights are taken;
snow melts and silk coverings are removed.
Butterflies stripped of wings are but caterpillars still,
and such am I.

© 1999 Barton J. Breen

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-01-09 10:36 PM

What strife in a young person's life such as this. I see a sorrowful tale in this, will only hope it did not come from a reality, but I fear, it did...

time will tell...

I think the caterpillar is about to metamorphose into something beautiful...

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

2 posted 2002-01-09 11:15 PM

This is nice, soft.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2002-01-09 11:20 PM

WOW!!! Fantastic write with terrific imagery here! Wonderful...enjoyed.
Hugs, Nancy.

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

GenXer
Senior Member

since 2001-12-15

Posts 583
USA

4 posted 2002-01-09 11:25 PM

You truly express a very painful and troubling experience in a young child's life all too well. Nicely done. It does sound as if it came from a real experience, though I hope it didn't.

Dave

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

5 posted 2002-01-10 08:33 AM

Bart, interesting thoughts, well told. I enjoyed.
Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 2002-01-10 08:56 AM

You heal through your poetry...beautifully sad poem sir.

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

7 posted 2002-01-10 08:58 AM

Bart,

Wow... what a wonderful write

Lovely pictures you paint.. I can't wait to see more

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
- Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2002-01-10 08:58 AM

                    framed in the doorway,
                    burned into the screen.

                    Still pictures of racing pavement
                    viewed through rotting floorboards
                    and moonlit snow stained with fleeting shadows
                    as rivers crossed fade behind
                    and a rocky shield swallows a fleeing family.

                    Years pass; small flights are taken;
                    snow melts and silk coverings are removed.
                    Butterflies stripped of wings are but caterpillars still,
                    and such am I.
===============================================

This is a very impressive haunting write of imagery and expression.
Your employ of imagery to define the emote is exceptionally well done.
Much to read here...on the surface and between the lines.
Sometimes we find our wings in our words.
Welcome to Poetry Land, its nice to have you here with us.
I look forward to reading more of your impressive work.
jm

I ask why you come here, you say just because
Could I live without it if I knew what it was
But it really dont matter when you look at me that way.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

9 posted 2002-01-11 06:59 AM

Canuckster,
You write like a poet and your thoughts will be well come here. This is poignant and captures the interest securely and holds it to the end. Well Done
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

10 posted 2002-01-11 08:43 AM

(tears fall down my cheeks) So very sad, sweet friend, I cried reading this to feel strife and angst hidden behind the cocoon of the heart! (big hugggssss) Sometimes it takes time for us to emerge and fly free into the realm of joy and freedom, and all it takes is just a little faith and love! Very well expressed, sweet friend, you have such amazing talent! We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Bart, thank you for sharing!

May love and light alwyas shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

11 posted 2002-01-11 09:05 AM

Canuckser,
A strong write enjoyed the read.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

12 posted 2002-01-11 09:17 AM

HI--

This is hauntingly beautiful....the images are vivid, and I love the last stanza....I think we all feel that way sometimes....Welcome to passions...

Lauren~

Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-11-2002 02:37 PM).]

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