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Open Poetry #18
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Until Stars Grow Dark - Marsha's Challenge
| Open Poetry #18 |
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Until Stars Grow Dark - Marsha's Challenge |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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Hoping this was what you were looking for  I tried the best I could and I hope that this makes some sense... at least it did in my mind, LOLShadows tossed in the maelstrom eye of Chaos Unmade to be wrought ethereal anew, Issue forth strangling lost lamps, waxen souls, Slayers whispering in hidden corners, Boreas breath summoning internal palls Smothering glints in deep pools, panes, orbs Funeral march to bloody-pulse beat Until stars grow dark and there is no more day But pearls swathed in choking darkness Rapacious wraiths! Gnawing their envy, bones and flesh Loathing oblivion’s peace, resting heavy Death-spun oysters in strife’s tribute Unleash seeds sprouting conflagration Rising, renewing Chaos fount in Order When the air catches fire and the seas dry to dust A Sun reborn in strife kindles unsquandered oils Forging red-hot Creation with iron wisps "A hard, cold wisom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil" - Robert Heinlein [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (01-05-2002 01:06 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
WOW!!!What a powerful poem. This poem just opens up and captures your reader...holding them spellbound to the end. Magnificent. **hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Definite destruction through ghoulish spirits here!!Nice imagery  |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Above and beyond the challenge--well done There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Dusk T OH MY this is utterly utterly wonderful This really is outstandingly well written Challenge well met, I'm keeping this one. It's an absolute beauty As always Mushy   To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Well, I'd challenge anyone to try an top this! Awesome imagery. "When the air catches fire and the seas dry to dust A Sun reborn in strife kindles unsquandered oils Forging red-hot Creation with iron wisps" What power and force this one has! |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Interesting use of dark textures and foreboding breath of fire in this poem. Like your name Dusk Treader, it treads upon the moors of dusk... ****Ivy Rose |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Dusk Treader, this is as a night without stars and as majestic as a new formed galaxy. Wonderful! Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Shh....don't tell Marsha this one is here, I want to keep it in my private library... good job, young man... |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Thank you all for your wonderful replies! I appreciate them greatly Startime - I'm glad the spell caught you, I hope it sparks new magics Ecrivan - Definite destruction and ghoulish spirits there are aplenty, but angels of an unlooked for sort may lurk within. My thanks Jamie - Thank you for the high praise. Marsha - I'm glad you enjoyed it Didn't know if this was anything close to what you were aiming for. Midnitesun - Thank you for your lush praise  Ivy Rose - My thanks, "the moors of dusk..." especially like that, quite fitting Kethry - Ahh, exactly the pictures I was looking for, especially the formation of a new galaxy. Creation moves in great cycles. Karilea - She already noticed, sorry! But keep it in your library, it gives me great pride for it to reside there "A hard, cold wisom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil" - Robert Heinlein |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Nicely done, my love! You have such a vocabulary that each line seems like a poem in itself. I especially liked this simple line, however: "Rising, renewing Chaos fount in Order" That seems to say it all to me. Sometimes darkness isn't always as it seems and sometimes order comes from disorder. I think I catch what you were going for (although with us poets, you can never know for sure). Wonderful work, sweetheart.  *Krista Knutson* |
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