Open Poetry #18 |
Let Not This Be My Last!!! |
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Can you count the beats of my heart lying still? Can you love me tenderly as you say you will? Or..Will you simply fade, disappear into sky as I sit wishing, wondering, not knowing why? Can the mountains bring down the soft breeze? Can this moment become eternity we now seize? Will this memory linger on as a still frame? Will this love recover, once again become same? I ponder each waking moment of silent sight. I wake fitfully from dreams lost in the night. My mind, my heart torn asunder by this loss. Can you count the beats as my body does toss? Loving you, feeling the fall of autumn’s leaves. The flakes of frozen tears drop silently, grieves. Longing thoughts flowing as an endless brook. See me there, look for me...open my heart’s book. My pages have been read, my cloth cover worn. A heart with holes bled, a love forever now torn. Screams echo in loveless halls, halls of bare walls Dreams lost in mind now dark...as night now falls. Teeth shatter from the grit of lost love, rejection.. Fingers trace endless hearts in steamed reflection. Waking moments of emptiness fill a dark soul. Time alone rings a sad bell, an out of tune toll. I shall not take another breath, unless is yours. My chest shall not rise till your voice ensures. The light within my tunnel is dimming fast. Come to me, let not this held breath be my last. [This message has been edited by Magnus (01-22-2002 08:02 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
brianbeaudry Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410Northern Ontario Canada |
Wow, I could feel myself holding my breath for the last few lines...Powerful poem my friend...have to remind myself to breath again!!! |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Oh I agree, powerful indeed!!! Those words would travel far to be heard by a receptive heart... indeed, talented one, let this not be ... your last!!! Pepper |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Gee Barry, you scared me with the title....thought you were leaving us! Don't do that to me! Okay, okay, I'm fine now....I can breathe deeply again....yes, I can even *sigh*. Good write! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Bb...I felt compelled to put something into this poem...I guess I did...Thanx... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Peppermint...worry not...for the ink is hot and the quill is wet...Thanx... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Nancy...I knew that I would get a reaction from the title...why else would I have done that???? YES, you can breath again...I am not gonna go anywhere... |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Magnus darling boy this is outstanding writing the emotions run so free in this. The flow that is absolutely perfect writing doesn’t get much better than this Truly one of your utter best, it is absolutely excellent writing, the form is divine and the style just screams class. This is a superb piece of writing, don’t ever stop darling boy because where would we be without beauty? I too was holding my breath but with an Ohhhh of complete admiration for this utterly divine piece. YOU surely know how to write Is this better darling boy? Well it's fantastically well written without a doubt. And I love it Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Very powerful! Thanks for sharing it. -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Magnus - Hang in there dear poet, I am on my way to render first aid!! Enjoyed. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this is a true devotion of love in verse. Kathleen--(Kay) |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Mushy, thank you silly girl...you are a trip. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Newell...thank you for the reply...you write some beautiful poetry... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Chris, thank you, I think I am going to survive...not my last breath yet.. |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
WOW...This HAS to be your best.... incredible, just incredible. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Kay, somewhere...I missed commenting to your post...I do love your comments...They mean a lot to me...Thank You.. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
AWC...thanx...I put a lot of emotions and energy into this poem as I wrote it...Was feeling a lot of things right then.. |
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