Open Poetry #18 |
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Between The Land And Sky |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859![]() |
Between The Land and Sky Between the land and sky am I. With others on our quest of life. For this is where He does set me. Until the day He sets me free. And so it be. Between the sky and moon is He. For He is everywhere you see And everywhere you do not see For only He knows, Only He And so it be. Above the clouds and over all the stars Above the planets Jupiter and Mars Are places we might never know Until the day that He does show And so it be Between the land and under to it's core. In the darkest places we've yet to explore. Only He who made the universe you see. Knows of all those places secretly. And so it be. And under waters calm and waters fierce As fishermen the waters sometimes curse. Are worlds we know not of and never might Until the day He brings it all to light And so it be And so it be Floria [This message has been edited by strbbux (01-21-2002 10:26 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved | |||
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Very well penned ... nice flow and the repetitive lines add to the flavour ![]() |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Well penned Floria. Your words indeed hold a wisdom. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Victoria![]()
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Between the land and sky am I. With others on our quest of life. For this is where He does set me. Until the day He sets me free. And so it be. Enjoyed your lovely words Floira.. ![]() ~Victoria~ You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is a beautiful piece, full of wondrous truth. The only spot that gave me stumble was here: Between the land and under to it's core. There lies a place we know not what it's for. But, I can't say I know how to smoothe it out. This really is a luscious piece! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Rex very much for your reply. floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you very much Gentle spirit, for your reply. floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Victoria, thank you so much for your kind reply. floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
VAS I love how you get deep into my poems and feel free to speak your mind. Now, I also look at it and don't know what to do..Well, I will leave it open for any suggestions. Thank you kindly for your honest and kind reply. floria maybe I could leave out that whole stanza? [This message has been edited by strbbux (01-21-2002 01:26 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (smiles) Ooohhhhhh...I just had to read this one again, I believe there is a place where true total harmony exists and that someday we may embrace His realm of heavenliness. (kis on cheek) Soooooo gorgeous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you kindly Noah, floria |
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Nightshade![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
floria, aah yes, and so it shall and always will be. Lovely. Chris ![]() Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Me again. Between the land and deep within its core Bring queries that arise to a full score aargh! I wouldn't say to leave out the lines, but find a way to say them that doesn't sound like a forced rhyme...the example I've tried does not accomplish that, alas. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
VAS you have me laughing so hard I am going to fall off my chair. I don't think yours is so bad. This is a real challenge. what of these? the harder I try the sillier they sound. Between the land and to it's inner core. There lies a place of which we do abhor. Between the land and to it's core so deep. There lies a place which causes us to weep. ( causes us to weep is, I'm thinking because that is where we bury our dead? ) |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Chris, thank you very much, as you can see we are having a bit of fun with this piece. Oh my,, Heeeeeeeeelp. floria |
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Magnus![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Floria, No...we do not know what these places hold for us UNTIL...He comes for us each...I think you have said it very well. Thank You.. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Oh Thank you Magnus, I will get serious again now, we were just struggling over some words above. I do appreciate always your response. floria |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Beautifully deep and mystical, Floria... and extremely well written. ![]() copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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brianbeaudry Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410Northern Ontario Canada |
I wouldn't get rid of the lines Floria,here is a suggestion... Between the land and under to it's core. In the darkest places we've yet to explore Even without changes, this is a keeper, and a great message to boot!!! [This message has been edited by brianbeaudry (01-21-2002 10:16 PM).] |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Floria - Very good. I really liked the title and how you worked different versions of it in each stanza. There are so many things we don't understand and will never know or see while we are here on earth. Of couse I understand everything, but no one else does.lol ![]() Dave |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Madame, very much, floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
HAHAH ok, Dave, I will remember that you know everything next time I need to have a question answered. thanks, floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Brian,, thank you.. So someone has come to my rescue. I needed a subtle change, and I do believe this is it.. Between the land and under to it's core. In the darkest places we've yet to explore I love it. doesnt change anything but is more polished than mine. THANK YOU MANY MANY TIMES. floria ((((hugs)))) |
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brianbeaudry Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410Northern Ontario Canada |
You are most welcome Floria, it may be me asking for help next time..lord knows I need it most times LOL |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
BRAVO!!!OH yes indeed this poem is absolute perfection...I love how He is ....*sigh* BRAVO!!!!You touch the soul with your poems..Thank you. **big hugs** ![]() Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you Startime you lift my confidence. floria |
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