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Open Poetry #18

Ambiguous And Ludicrous

Hardkore
Junior Member

since 2001-01-31

Posts 33
San DIego, California

0 posted 2002-01-17 09:50 PM

She sat on the edge of our bed
silently weeping into her hands
Sunlight crept into the room
through cracked blinds on the window
Her aged blond hair was almost white
but it looked like the day we meet, in this light
Her wrinkled hands were still, milky smooth
Like a dried rose, they maintained their beauty
softly trembling under the pressure of her tears
She cried for the ills of humanity
She cried for the loss of innocence
She cried because I was a spiteful old man
and I just sat there, rigid, arms at my sides
staring blankly at her blond-white hair
and her trembling hands
Sitting in my torn shorts
wondering why I hadn’t been feed
She deserved better

Passion fuels my love
Passion becomes consumed by my love
Without my love I become passionless

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2002-01-17 10:00 PM

Very nicely done! Vivid imagery. Poignant, emotive piece.

Morcastlin
Member

since 2002-01-14

Posts 244
The Jersey Shore, USA

2 posted 2002-01-17 10:03 PM

An interesting and thoughtful poem! I enjoed reading it! Well done!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

3 posted 2002-01-17 10:05 PM

Yes, I agree with Kacy. Very vivid imagery here. I could picture the scene, and the emotions in my mind.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-01-17 10:09 PM

Well done Garrett! Great imagery here!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2002-01-18 07:43 PM

Vividly told...a scene that played in my head as I read this. Thanks.

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