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Open Poetry #17
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One Other
| Open Poetry #17 |
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One Other |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Another now, one other here, a dance of daring that I’ll share, before a finger drips across the door. There are no papered words around, no strangled voice to save or slay, just ashes now and kicking them - what fictions forced to play. There are no photographs to stare, no whispered bend on failing cry, just ashes now, a blow in dust, and a feeling that I must, kiss each of you with powdered lips - before I go. |
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| © Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Carol Lina Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 94USA |
How could I critique something so moving? How can a poem make a person cry just by reading words on a screen? Maybe it has a different meaning for every reader, I don't know but I do know it touched me in a very dry place tonight...thank you for your poem. Carolina |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
There are no papered words around, no strangled voice to save or slay, just ashes now and kicking them - what fictions forced to play. There are no photographs to stare, no whispered bend on failing cry, just ashes now, a blow in dust, ===================================== ~Archives~ Winds of change may carry us on ... still we are held by the ties that bind. Hearts and hands lace across the miles holding forever in the traces left behind. Pages turn ... chapters comes to a close ... still these moments in time will never impart. Tears wept, promises kept ... now engraved in verse and rhyme ... and both the love and memories are archived in our hearts. jm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Heart in Hand~ Vertical Horizon I know it's been a long road To get these fears behind me and I Will gladly reap what we may sow I am There for you and you're there for me Pictures and photographs Memories and windows Goodbyes and epitaphs Heartbeats and hellos Are you waiting for ... Heart in hand Woman and man See me, where I stand -- I am ... Heart .... Heart in hand I would wait till the end of time for you, |
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PoeticLicense Junior Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 30 |
I love the raw, down-to-earth honesty of your writing, simply put, awesome! PL [This message has been edited by PoeticLicense (edited 11-20-2001).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Your use of words and composition are both powerful and poetic... I do so enjoy the "edgy" quality of your words... very nice...very nice indeed. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
powerful and very moving... Thanks for sharing, Regards, Sudhir |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
When I read this, I immediately thought of Anne Frank, and of all the souls who suffered as she did but who never left a photo or diary, and their memories are all but lost in the ashes of war and the passage of time. This may not have anything to do with your intend, but it's what came to mind. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Too sad, I think I must demand an email to know you are ok. Luv S |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
indeed, the raw, emotional power of your writing is at it's best here. . . the images full and bold, the words chosen carefully. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
powerful and so very moving A, especially the last few lines, they hit me like a tonne of bricks. Simply amazing YOU! Maree  |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Raw is indeed the correct word for this powerful poem, Spitfire..... It felt to me, like you were writing of the lost souls of September 11...and how many of them never got to say goodbye  Lyra |
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