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Open Poetry #17
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Friends Beyond the Storm
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Friends Beyond the Storm |
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Lonely Shadow Member
since 2000-03-14
Posts 128Virginia 
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Storms rage over once still waters The ship known as my life Lost in the sea of turmoil Dark clouds of sorrow Drowning out the sun With nothing to guide me I fall to my knees, defeat in my heart knowing I will drift endless through this hell Until a flash in the distance Like lightning crashing down I see it clear as purest crystal A beacon light shining in the distance I can feel the warmth of its beautiful rays Reaching out for me, beckoning me home My eyes bright as shining stars Knowing who calls out to me The angel whom I call friend Turning hard into the storm Determined to reach my port of call I whisper, hoping the wind Will carry my message to you "thank you my dearest friend for helping me find my way" the storm becoming more fierce but still I do not wane for I wish to see you again my wonderful friend my course plotted in I sail hard into the dreaded night I'm finally returning home To where my friends waits for me Where my happiness will flourish once again Fear destroys the mind, depression destroys the soul... only love and compassion may save you from death. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lonely Shadow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
It's easy to see that this is your heart and soul poured out on paper. Perhaps a little structure would aid in the presentation. Try breaking it up into Stanzas, a simple rhyme pattern (even a line per stanza linking the next). I'd be interested in seeing a rewrite. Gloom |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
The flow of your pen is evident here.It's good to know we all have an angel somewhere to help guide us home. Peaches |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
We all need the help of an angel and a friend every now and then, Shadow. Well done.  All writing comes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Loved your message here. I too have been blessed with wonderful friends that have been a tranquil port so often. You write the sadness well, but the gratitude shines through. I like this very much! |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
It read like a novel to me, one that was quite interesting. I enjoyed reading this. |
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