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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2001-12-16 04:03 PM

Undone. The colors - they fall.
And falling passes with changes too bold not to wonder.
Too quiet not to skip through the thoughts
surrounding leaves and war,
it’s personal.
Yes the pale replaces eager tries and blue begins to slip,
begins to wander too far from my needs to understand.
They fall, and tumble past yesterday without regret.
At times I see red, much more red than a girl my age should.
And it doesn’t only fall, it leaks.
Though tears won't make you understand me either,
some days I fall myself from green to dust in attempt,
a crust of person dangling there in a park away.
It's a corner letting silence stay,
allowing yellow to be shaded shy - again.
Winter only walked in on me two days ago,
two minutes past the undoing's second shift.
And it is a fall, a crashing worth a scream I say.

Shadowed_Innersense
Junior Member

since 2001-12-05

Posts 49
somewhere at the edge

1 posted 2001-12-16 04:23 PM

I think this is excellent ...
a war between Fall and Winter
as winter rushes in.

I can see why Sandra calls you her friend.
I hope to read more of your work.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-12-16 04:26 PM

Undone. The colors - they fall.
And falling passes with changes too bold not to wonder.
=====================================
Yes the pale replaces eager tries and blue begins to slip,
====================================
At times I see red, much more red than a girl my age should.
And it doesn’t only fall, it leaks.
======================================
some days I fall myself from green to dust in attempt,
a crust of person dangling there in a park away.
It's a corner letting silence stay,
allowing yellow to be shaded shy - again.
Winter only walked in on me two days ago,
two minutes past the undoing's second shift.
And it is a fall, a crashing worth a scream I say.
========================================

OH man.....
damn .... just ..... damn .....
(cause the rest you just understand)

me

Its not like you to say sorry,
I was waitin on a different story.
This time I'm mistaken ...
for handing you a heart worth breaking.

Nickleback

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2001-12-16 04:29 PM

(big hugggssssss) Oh Spitfire, this is soooooo gorgeous, a blending of seasons coming together! (smiles) I love it!!! May the seasons come and go and may the colors always bring us great inspiration and blessings! (sigh) We all love you so much, dearest friend! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Spitfire, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-12-16 04:40 PM

This is a poem that leaves a person lacking in what to say. I'm speechless. Ok, bravo!

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

5 posted 2001-12-16 07:52 PM

The passion and intensity in your poetry often leaves me speechless. So much so, that I often don’t respond, because my responses just cannot do justice to your writing. I simply want you to know that your poetry always moves me and I do enjoy reading it.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2001-12-16 08:33 PM

Unique imagery of fall and winter, and the travels the heart and mind go through.

"Though tears won't make you understand me either,
some days I fall myself from green to dust in attempt,
a crust of person dangling there in a park away."

It is difficult to know oneself, and even more difficult to know another's self. But sometimes I glimpse and feel the depth of your soul, as I feel them in this poem.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2001-12-16 08:33 PM

SpitFire--I admire your poetry so much, your ability to splatter a canvas of words with feeling..just amazing...Peace to you too!

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

8 posted 2001-12-16 09:24 PM

'It's a corner letting silence stay,
allowing yellow to be shaded shy - again.
Winter only walked in on me two days ago,
two minutes past the undoing's second shift.
And it is a fall, a crashing worth a scream I say.'

The intensity of your writing is amazing...this is an excellent, excellent poem...fantastic job...

sp

And did you know with the rain in your pockets,
you can change the weather...

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

9 posted 2001-12-16 10:26 PM

Oh my, this could make me undone, just thinking of the angst within ..
"Winter only walked in on me two days ago,
two minutes past the undoing's second shift.
And it is a fall, a crashing worth a scream I say."
Grabs me by the heart,
Take care, you.
Sandra

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

10 posted 2001-12-16 10:34 PM

You're one heck of a writer A.

What else can I say? Except that I saw your name and I said 'yes! A spitfire poem!' Lol...

And I was fulfilled.

Keep them coming ok? This touch of melancholy and exquisite word play in poetry is what I live for.

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-16-2001).]

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

11 posted 2001-12-16 10:36 PM

WOW!!!Powerful and incredibly intense. This poem captures your reader and holds them spellbound. Magnificent. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

12 posted 2001-12-16 10:39 PM

Spitfire,
Excellent write, enjoyed. *L*

peaches73533
Senior Member

since 2001-11-04

Posts 981
OK, USA

13 posted 2001-12-16 10:48 PM

Wow is all I can say.
Peaches

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

14 posted 2001-12-17 05:37 AM

Well my friend, I guess you can add me to the long list of admirers. Awesome work as always, take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison

[This message has been edited by EagleOne (edited 12-17-2001).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

15 posted 2001-12-17 08:50 AM

yeah... an excellent one... such an artful play with words and perfect delivery...

loved it... thanks

regards,
sudhir

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

16 posted 2001-12-17 02:28 PM

You have an old soul, my dear. Sit quiet, and listen, for the more you hear, the more you shall write...

and please, never, ever quit writing.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

17 posted 2001-12-17 04:30 PM

Spitfire-
   What an amazing writer you are.
   This is excellent...very powerful.
   Best wishes to you,
   ~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

18 posted 2001-12-17 11:07 PM

~I am so thankful for every one of your replies and kindness to what I write. I truly hold to treasure the things you say, please know this. --

. *Peace and warmth around.

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