»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #16
»
Moving on Too
| Open Poetry #16 |
|
Moving on Too |
|
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
"MOVING ON TOO" (Copyright 2001 by: MARK V SHELDON) Shattered by the shrapnel of your Shameless imagination My once polished plate of Transparent Trust Lies as shards of my short life with you Glistening like the diamonds they are not Pointing in every direction of blame and decision I crunch towards the one which points Away And follow this path of dirt before me Hollowed out with a rusty shovel Unsure of the shape of stings to come Still questioning which part you took Most for granted? My heart? Or my will to ignore the warnings of the world Wanting nothing more than to support your pedestal Of platinum perfection? No matter now Anyhow, the sun sets faster when we don't watch it fade... "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX http://www.davidicke.com/icke/index1c.html [This message has been edited by MARK V SHELDON (edited 09-30-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Mark V Sheldon - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
my goodness Mark, this is soooo good, and sad.......hugs to you  |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh MArk, wow, what a good poem, and so heart wrenching. I hope its another past subject for you. I especially love that last line. Take care. Sandra |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
SEA, thank you. A big hug to you too. Thank you, Sandra, this was for a class assignment -- actually a "re-write" on my former poem "MOVING ON" (hence the play on the title), and yes, this is in the rear-view mirror though nevertheless attached the car of my soul... That last line is a doozie... -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Anyhow, the sun sets faster when we don't watch it fade... ------------------------- So cleverly wrapped sadness and disappointment. Wonderful Mark...... I find the last line particularly wise.... It even sets faster still when we seem to run out of will. Thank you.... ************************ |
||
|
sunshinemist Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595Fl. sunshines early mist |
Mark, very touching and sad poem, yet wonderful too! Thank you for sharing and very nice to meet you. ~Marie~ |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
My Melody, thank you for the observations. Indeed. Will it end? Perhaps... but not my will. Some things always remain set  .Marie -- a to you too! Thank you, kindly, for the read and smile, and it is always a pleasure to meet another friendly soul.-MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Mark - an excellent writing, with words of much meaning. Enjoyed the read... BC |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Mark...Very enjoyable read. Thank you. ~Hugs, Nancy~
|
||
|
Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Mark...this is good...enjoyed from one end to the other.. alan |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fabulous expression...James |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Mark! What a wonderfully descriptive piece ... the visuals are lovely, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is an amazing piece of writing. Astounding imagery, thoughts and use of words. Stunning If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Bill, thank you for stopping by to enjoy and comment. Glad you did. Nancy, you're welcome, and thank you for letting me know. Alan, thanks to you too -- good to hear it was enjoyed in such a manner. Hey James -- thanks for the faboulous. That's an honor, Kit -- thank you for pausing and enjoying and for replying. Tracey, you humble me -- I appreciate your praise and am moved to see that this piece had such an effect. Thank you. -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Mark~ Oh my...this is fantastic. The imagery you've used captures the feelings so well and good cadence to boot! Love that last line...it really hangs in the air and continues to move the reader as it echoes in the mind. Can you tell I liked it? It breaks my heart but I like it still because it makes me feel...and that's really all I can ask of a poem. Hugs, ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
||
|
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I crunch towards the one which points Away And follow this path of dirt before me Hollowed out with a rusty shovel This told me that the decision was so hard on you. But how eloquent you overcame and surrendered to the choice. A point that no one wants to end up at...but each of us ultimately do a one time or another. An ending and a new beginning. Fantastic write. Sincerely, Regina |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
I guess I accomplished my goal then, Krista... Thank you so much for the reply. Regina, thank you. Your observation is astute and your realization precise. -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ah Mark... have missed your words here. Very well done by the way.... made me think of the rusty shovel and how it can be polished to shine by the abrasive act of digging... perhaps another poem in that image as well. Good stuff sir.. well done! |
||
|
CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Mark, I truly enjoyed this most embracing read and like our PoetFriends have said above I too concur that your last verse indeed clinched the depths of the heart in me... hugs2uPoetFriend *~coco~* |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Hi Ron! Thank you for your comments -- and for a very inspiring image & concept -- there could definitely be a poem in your suggestion... perhaps you'll write it? Coco, a kind thank you to you. I suppose a clincher is to a poem what a hook is to a song... I'm pleased that you enjoyed the read. -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Great Write! |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Thank you, Connie -- glad you found it. -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
When you want to hold onto a memory, maybe watching the sunset does help it linger. If turning away helps you to let go sooner, then I guess it's a good idea to close your eyes at sunset. Either way, it's a very powerful closure, Mark. |
||
|
Ven Member
since 2001-10-01
Posts 102U.K. |
With lines like: "My once polished plate of Transparent Trust Lies as shards of my short life with you Glistening like the diamonds they are not" and, "Wanting nothing more than to support your pedestal Of platinum perfection?" what else can I say but, "magnificent" I love the way you write, you inspire me to try harder. Best wishes, Ven |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Don't get me wrong, Midnitesun -- I love sunsets, but here's an example which has many layers to it, one of which can indeed be as you describe, for it is in these layers where the power of poetry often hides. Thank you for the read and reply. Ven, you humble me. That was a very sweet thing to say, and I can only shyly smile with the knowledge that something I wrote could have such an effect upon another. Thank you. -MVS "Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..." --THE MATRIX |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
