Open Poetry #16 |
The Perfect Words |
Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
The Perfect Words I’m looking for the perfect words To bring my baby home But I can’t seem to say them right So I’m searching for a poem Something about forgiveness Where the mistake has happened before Something about the love that's gone From the man that I adore Something about a promise One that won't be believed Something about the reasons why I'd die if he really leaves. Something about the fear I feel When he walks out of my door Something true and beautiful That I haven’t said before Something that will make him feel The way he used to feel Something that will prove to him This time I am for real Something of an explanation For why I hurt him so Something sort of like a prayer So God won’t let him go Does anyone know any words That might gently touch his heart? Because if I can’t make it right I will surely fall apart by Carrie (Thanks Nan, for suggesting I finish my own poem instead of trying to borrow someone else's words.) [This message has been edited by Apachecat906 (edited 09-28-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Carrie A. Mead - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Carrie, I say give him this it's wonderful |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Trust me ... you just found them... and you wrapped them up in a bows of rhyme and sweet sincerity. A lovely intend and a clever twist and play on words. well done poetess Carrie Well tomorrow holds only mystery |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Apachecat, I agree with JM. Enjoyed the read. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I believe these words can only come from your heart...James |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to read and comment. It did indeed come from the heart. I hope he feels the same way about this poem, I gave it to him today. So...we'll see. Thanks, Carrie |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
It looks like you found some wonderful words to say it right here. Nice work. Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence. |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
Very pretty, very pretty indeed No one ever listened themselves into trouble. [This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (edited 09-28-2001).] |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Hope it all works out. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
hoping for the best. . . indeed, the best words always come from us. . . from the heart. . . great job. . . ----------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
It's never easy to watch someone leave, but if his heart isn't in it I doubt you'd really want him back. Just be sure of what YOU want before jumping to any conclusions. This was a good write. Full of much truth and feeling. All writing comes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Apache--the sincere feelings in this poem are written from your heart...perhaps he will listen. I hope so. |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Thanks, Martie, for your thought of hope. I'm still holding on to a little shread of it. |
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