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Open Poetry #16
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Euphoria
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Euphoria |
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amigo Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520the earth school |
awesome enveloping waves, alluring rutilant twilight radiance, veiled bejeweled decor, journey of mystic spell ascends diving me into extended ecstacy!! [This message has been edited by amigo (edited 11-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 amigo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
I like it. Now if you REALLY want a critique, this has TOO many adjectives (modifiers) Why is that important? Make the nouns and verbs work for you and the poem is more effective. Keep writing! -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Oh, I like this one. I think the adjectives are what makes it work. You can never be too descriptive in my opinion. I think it makes the scene seem more real. Welcome to Passions.  All writing comes |
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amigo Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520the earth school |
lady of shallot - thank you for your critique....i too felt that the adjectives were more, but just couldn't/didn't know to bring myself to delete any...thanks again..will keep in mind in future. lone wolf - thank you, i am happy that you liked it. |
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wornways Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204CA, USA |
are you kidding? adjetives are the only way to describe an orgasm. |
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The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
wormways: ROFL I would never critique an orgasm!!!!!!! -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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