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Open Poetry #16
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wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2001-10-26 01:46 PM


How I feel, this may be
A little sad, that is me
But in the night, when I cry
In this bed, where I lie
Make believe, I cannot do
Kissing, holding, only you

DVD, on the screen
Watching Muppet, colored green
In his wisdom, I can hear
Down my cheek, rolls a tear
“Try not! Do, There is no try!”
So his smartness, I apply

Picking up the phone, I dial
Leapt, my heart, maybe a mile
Chalk and dust, are in my throat
A little poem, is what I wrote
Lucky, though a little scared
Thank the goodness I’m prepared

From the phone, I hear a voice
A stupid movie, I had no choice
The force was wise, Yoda said
But now its static, in my head
“Hello”, I hear “Hello” “Hello”?
Melodious voice of stringed cellos!

A stumble meets my words at first
A ramble comes but maybe worse
Her name, I can not yet remember
Last we met was late December
In my head a sudden bliss
Obi Wan says, “Jenn, it is!”

My pretty poem, I begin to say
But words of song don’t often play
When “Walt” my name I think I heard
From my mouth, the only word
“Remember you, I do,” says she
The words, just right, she says to me

“By this phone I would wait
But afraid, I am, you are too late
Came December then the Spring
A man, I met, and had a fling
Under his skin of green I got
And then a ring he went and bought

When giving birth I thought I’d die
He said,“Try not! There is no try!”
In love I fell, his words were wise
Came the baby in two more tries
Mad at me I hope your not
Forget me now not e’er a thought”

The phone it fell down to the floor
All she said and nothing more
In my head a whisper came
From Obi Wan, that trickster’s name
“If Vader had not killed me dead
She would have been my sweet red-head”

From Yoda’s words “Use the Force”
I forced my shoe into the source
The TV that played the DVD
Was now a wreck in front of me
But for all the sadness and my fate
At least for now I’m talking straight!

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 10-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2001-10-26 07:05 PM


*giggling* oops I guess that is what happens when you wait to long. Well done.  

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

RocketRide
Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 13
USA
2 posted 2001-10-26 07:29 PM


that was delightful! usually i zone out after the first 5 stanzas of a poem, but this one kept my interesting. good work ; )
peace,
rocketride

~~Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says...I'll try again tommorrow~~

Wanda
Member
since 2001-10-23
Posts 461

3 posted 2001-10-26 10:20 PM


Walt; I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem.  So, you waited a little too long..Better luck next time.  Wanda
elisaseyes
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196
fort worth texas
4 posted 2001-10-27 06:37 PM


Critique you want...good, it is
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2001-10-27 06:49 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Walter, this is so so sad and heartbreaking, my heart cries that you didn't have the time! (big hugggssssss) My heart is with you, and remember, use the force, believe in yourself and follow your heart and you are bound to find the most beautiful love your heart can ever sing for! (sigh) Sad but very well-written, dearest friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Walter, thank you for sharing!

may love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

cruz
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282
Dallas,Texas USA
6 posted 2001-10-28 09:02 AM


this is cool.  the backwards talk is cool especially "i love in fell...."  so this "tryer" doesnt pick up the phone to call his love until its too late.  how crushed he must feel.  i guess its about time yoda hooked up with a chick though.

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