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Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-10-19 07:37 PM

Message in a Bottle

There was so much magic
in the water
as the sun turned down
and left all its silver fishes
shimmering like a diamond necklace
across the lake.

Soft muted moss swayed
with a lapping caress
against the rock where
I sat in contemplation.

I saw a bottle floating
where the water turned to waste
and muck like swamp goo,
it gently hit a rock in rhythm
and chimed with such delight
I imagined its contents,
some cheap wine and stolen kisses
with the exposed midriff of love
on the naked open grass
and this bottle
maybe in a brown sack passed,
and the sweet taste lingering
on soft open kisses
of two drunk on passion.

I looked closer
hoping to glimpse a piece of paper
nestled there for me to find,
something that said…
I have searched forever for you
just to find you here
too late in this faded time
to kiss you,
but love sighs if you listen
to the caress of air that stirs
around the star draped sky,
and you will find me there
lost and hungry for your taste.

Such interesting stories in the depth
of shallow mellow drifting clutter
of a lake in a city.
An orange plastic bowling pin,
next to a flip flop
next to matted fish line
next to a Styrofoam cup
and a coke can,
a story for each object
left, neglectful or blown
like a plastic bag across time
to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human.

I closed my eyes and listened
to the sand shifting
and the sweet chime of my bottle
where a story grew,
and the radiant colored dream
burst and fell around me
like brown wings

and for some reason I felt so sad.

----------
repost

and so I just know
that love never dies
and that souls hold all the candles
and they are the kind
you can’t blow out

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2001-10-19 08:00 PM

This is a picturesque poem...romantic and
very touching...I enjoyed it. The title is
always captivating....We are all intrigued
by a Message in a Bottle.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2001-10-19 08:53 PM

I closed my eyes and listened
to the sand shifting
and the sweet chime of my bottle
where a story grew,
and the radiant colored dream
burst and fell around me
like brown wings

and for some reason I felt so sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Martie, a great story as only you can tell it. Enjoyed this one so much. ~Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

Soaringeagle
Member

since 2000-12-06

Posts 156
CANADA

3 posted 2001-10-19 08:59 PM

MARTIE--MARTIE
WHERE DID YOU HIDE THIS,
AMONG THE CLUTTER
OF A WATERY GRAVE?
THANK YOU FOR REVEALING
THIS AWESOME SAGA.
HUGS.......EAGLE

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2001-10-19 09:04 PM

Martie, your words can touch a soul...

I really don't know how to respond
sometimes...sighing

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

5 posted 2001-10-19 09:18 PM

Well done Martie!
I love story poems.
This was nicely layered.
Fun to read and wander in.
Thanks.

"As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it." Wendell Berry

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-10-19 09:23 PM

SweetPoetess~
I remember this trip~

How vividly you wrote of it~
Such sights bobbing around ...~
You're just the bestest fisher-of-thoughts~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

7 posted 2001-10-19 10:18 PM

*sigh* a magical write that captures the imagination. Filled with romance and loves message. Oh yes, I LOVE IT!!!

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2001-10-20 08:04 AM

I'm so glad this message floated back to you, worthy of yet another look...

prayers are with you and yours...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

9 posted 2001-10-20 08:41 AM

Ah...but with sadness comes remeberance and that my dear friend is not such a bad thing. Glad I caught the wave on this one. I've missed your work in my absence

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

10 posted 2001-10-21 09:38 AM

I really loved this. I have always loved the words "Message in a Bottle" somehow I feel we are all a message in a bottle..with so many beautiful secrets to share. This was so vivid a float of ponder!

Sincerely,
Regina

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

11 posted 2001-10-21 09:45 AM

"a story for each object
left, neglectful or blown
like a plastic bag across time
to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human."

You never cease to amaze me Martie ... I love your pondering in this piece. The imagery is so vivid, and the phrase above is magnificent. Much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

12 posted 2001-10-21 02:14 PM

Martie, this is so good, and I feel the images, as well as see them

"I looked closer
hoping to glimpse a piece of paper
nestled there for me to find,
something that said…
I have searched forever for you
just to find you here
too late in this faded time
to kiss you,
but love sighs if you listen
to the caress of air that stirs
around the star draped sky,
and you will find me there
lost and hungry for your taste."

Wow....
Sandra

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

13 posted 2001-10-21 02:22 PM

Excellent expression, Martie! Creatively beautiful!

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

14 posted 2001-10-21 06:37 PM

* "but love sighs if you listen" *
... I think I heard it!!
Most excellent, so well painted!!!
A timelees sculpture !!
**s**

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

15 posted 2001-10-21 06:42 PM

Ah, and with a sigh, I simply say, "thank you Martie".

Try giving your smile to someone who does not have one, and I bet you'll find another ~*~ Mysteria ~*~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

16 posted 2001-10-22 05:37 PM

Such interesting stories in the depth
of shallow mellow drifting clutter
of a lake in a city.
An orange plastic bowling pin,
next to a flip flop
next to matted fish line
next to a Styrofoam cup
and a coke can,
a story for each object
left, neglectful or blown
like a plastic bag across time
to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human.

I can't beleive this one slipped me by!
wow Martie! Excellent imagery m'dear and so very true, each object has a story of it's own and I loved the way you showed me that.
Ahhhh to sit and chat with you dear Martie is a dream of mine

Maree.

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

17 posted 2001-10-23 02:21 AM

Ahh, Martie, such a good weaving, but I like the thought of magic is in every bottle that clinks on the rocks, for sometimes the message is in our hearts instead of the glass..very gentle smile

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

18 posted 2001-10-24 10:25 AM

I look in the waves and see trash floating... Martie ponders a magnificent poem of bittersweet beauty. Please, lady, never lose your pen... we need your sight, your insight!!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

19 posted 2001-10-27 07:35 AM

Martie-
   What a vivid picture you've created here.
   Wonderful as always, my friend.
   Hugs,
   ~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

20 posted 2001-10-27 03:06 PM

Martie,

One thing I have enjoyed about many of your poems is the fact that you do tell and story and almost always have a good lesson to embed as well.

Dawn

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