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Open Poetry #16
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How she remembers
| Open Poetry #16 |
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How she remembers |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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Sometimes, she feels forgotten. She looks for herself – around corners, around the edges of daydreams and the false beliefs of idealism. He’s never gone – though she has shelved him far out of her day to day memories. He’s like some text to scrape hard dust from, reminding her – that somewhere someone knows how it is. How it all is. It seems he has cushioned himself against failure, against burden. He feels these things as the sweet ecstasy of self-affirmation. Perhaps. (She recalls his distaste of being understood). And after all – they rubbed around each other, like magnets, and what she knows of him might merely blend itself into fickle creation. They can both attest to false assumptions and the putting together of a jigsaw missing several pieces. This is limited poetic: She still remembers the light-dark heat of loving him. Now, she could whisper him as leaves caressing her periphery, or of a song that is as faded as old leather in sun. But really, he’s none of those. No, he just knows how it is. She can’t forget that. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cottage Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 138 |
oh severn, I can feel with your every word. Love this heaps ~ cottage |
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WRBreezin Member
since 2001-08-04
Posts 212 |
Both thought and passion seem to be thriving in this piece, a blend readily enjoyed. Willie B |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"She looks for herself – around corners, around the edges of daydreams and the false beliefs of idealism." Beautiful phrasing Kamla! Your thoughts are woven so fluidly in this piece, and the imagery is excellent ... I loved the line "they rubbed around each other, like magnets." Wonderfully composed, much enjoyed!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
'the light-dark heat of him'... excellent! So good to see this here! |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
A heartfelt poem that brings the memories of love to life. You have written it with beauty sharing strong feelings perfectly. A great poem. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
It is morning, I have just walked home from a friend's house and a couch that I shouldn't have been sleeping on ... and here I am, of all places ... and I feel... an ache that isn't at first my own, but empathy makes it so, even in these subtle degrees... tell me of this one; what is your story, K? ... or I have already heard it, I think (what can be said anyway, and I know how little that is, or I think and almost know). And, still, I am sorry... but that word doesn't match either, or barely equate. [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-18-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, Well done, enjoyed your words. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
No, she can't forget that.....and I don't believe anyone really can. Well done K.  God bless America, my home sweet home. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Gee, don't know that I've read you before Severn. If not, I'm sorry I've missed so much, because I'd not want to miss one who writes so well. Not just the feelings, or the words, or the overall affect...all of it. You put it together so well. Jealous I am. jwesley |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Severn - I have known men such as you speak of, and try as we might, they are so hard to forget. Maybe we aren't supposed to. Well done. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla--I'm so glad to see you posting. But you know you should have sent some oxygen first. Wonderful writing, as always. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This took my breath away...in sooo many places that I am not even going to quote from it...just beautiful!! ~hugs, Nancy~
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Outstanding. There isn't any way to critique feelings like this, or this incredible piece of poetry. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
The pain of being out of reach (with good reason) of one who truly knows you is loneliness personified. Enjoyed |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
It's wonderful when "he just knows how it is". And yes one can never forget that. Beautiful writing as always Kamla m'dear. It's GREAT to read you again Hugs Maree |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
he is ignorant of what was left behind him some hearts cannot see Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
I cliked on this, not expecting to read something that so moved me, I'm crying....thank you for this, Severn. -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Good read Severn I miss yuhs |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoys |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
it would seem, my friend, that we remember the same. . .  it's always good to see you. . . this one flows very well. . . and, this will seem strange, but I like the way you use parentheses. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Magnificent writing, Kamla, as always! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
It is good to see your words again Kamla. This piece tugs...and yes, sometimes people can't see past themselves to the beauty of those around them. Well written. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Red-uni Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 192Georgia, USA |
Hey, You caught my attention. I love the way you worded this poem. Good going there! Quite awesome. Red |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
To remember is a good thing. It is regret that is hard to take. Wishing you only memories dear K. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh my, this is so much what I am feeling. You write amazingly well, this saddest of themes. Sandra |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
excellent write.... Look into the eyes of a man and |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I neglected to mention-- Nicely done. ...and library |
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