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Open Poetry #16
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all the same
| Open Poetry #16 |
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all the same |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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and oh you said, "but nothing's changed" and of course, I disagreed. "Everything is gone," I said. but I forgot the things unsaid. And even now, it's all good time... even now as I drink wine of ripened thought of yesterday-- I hear your words-- "It's all the same." |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Serenity, I've heard those words before, good write. |
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Topheth Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297Texas |
I'm grinning, I am. It a shaken, glass snow-ball whose details remain hidden to me. I'm impressed. |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Did I ever mention to you that I love jumping into the middle of a conversation, coming into the middle of an act or a scene that I have no good idea of what happened in the first half? That's the feel I get when I read your first line "and oh you said". I just love a piece that starts with a conjuction. It lends a great deal of reader interpretation to a poem. A quick note on the tempo of the poem. You intend it to be read semi-briskly? I hope so, cuz that's how my eyes want to take it in. Damn those many interpretation levels! So, I'm walking in on the middle of an argument? Eaves-dropping outside, say, a kitchen window? That's where I'm at right now. So far, I'm taking this as the near end of an argument. "but nothing's changed and of course, i disagreed" The interpretation lays heavier on the person most affected by the events. Of course, if you aren't affected by an event, then nothing changes to you. But the person affected by the same event is going to call you on that, because something HAS changed for them. Good, strong lines, very truthful. Empathetic and sympathetic feelings derived from them. Is it your nature to disagree just out of the sake of disagreeing, or is it the other person's nature to remain 'unchanged' by events? (Just asking, I have an idea.) Or could it be perhaps that, case study aside, the only constant is change, so it's unfathomable to NOT disagree with the statement, "but nothing's changed"? "Everything is gone, I said. but I forgot the things unsaid." I'm having a few problems with this statement. Not, like thematic problems, but more like confusion problems. Are the things unsaid not gone? They're still here, though unsaid? That makes a wonderful dillema, but I like the application of the thought, whether you intended that or not. So, "everything is gone" is the change that you use as an example to refute the statement "nothing's changed"? I think that's right. But then you forget about the things unsaid, which aren't gone? What a quandary I've proposed you proposed?! And the rest is a rap up with some interesting allusions, neh? You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Okay...sigh...motherfatherlandluckysigh: My Philip, yes, I have noticed that you like a conversation that begins with a conjunction....AND...I also notice that it's the first time I noticed. Okay...the tempo is meant, as I'm sure ya know...I like the rhythm of words falling into native drums and rattling leaves after twilight... And on to the next? EVERYTHING is a potential argument. As to the question of everything and all of my motives behind everything? methinks you overestimate me...but, if you insist? let's talk...we'll overestimate my hourly fee! "Everything is gone," I said. But I forgot the things unsaid. This one is not so hard. Everything being gone? Just simple the details of every thing unthought. And of course there's an argument. But I'm not really trying to plead a case. But I really must take this opportunity to plea that these things that sing silence--remain forever unappeased...unless, determined YOU beat gong. We will talk more my friend. You DO know I love you, doncha? I KNOW I DO!!! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
serenity, nice interlude. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Everything is gone," I said. but I forgot the things unsaid. ============================ that verse just went thru me... and didnt need no drums and rattling leaves to do it *wink*... your rhymes are always enough... If you could bottle it??? you KNOW ... Vials baby...send Vials  Well tomorrow holds only mystery |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I agree with Kethry, nice interlude indeed. Kathleen |
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