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Open Poetry #15
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{{ Sleeping Beauty }}
| Open Poetry #15 |
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{{ Sleeping Beauty }} |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
 ~~~ Sleeping Beauty ~~~ She slept ……. Within the caresses of time A beauty…..frozen On the edge of the ever ticking clock Slept….. In silence While life buzzed Outside the walls of her Battlement Slept…..forever Drifting on the magical vessels of dreams “What did she dream of?… Sleeping for a hundred years and more?” Her knight wondered as he stood Before the door Did she dream of him? Coming to rescue her From the sleep that *had frozen her But…. Is it really a rescue? To have her wake up From a world of dreams To the reality of a world Harsh and mean He wondered as he passed the lofty halls, Where all clocks were frozen As if time was on hold, Crossing neglected gardens That became alien forests That weave another thread In that alien incomprehensible dream Passing that …… He decided not to see More of this bewildering mystery He rushed to the battlement Where legends tell Of her sleeping in her cell He climbed the steps Opened the door Entered And saw Saw her Sleeping on her bed For a moment he thought he lost his head As the vision of her Overwhelmed him so And took his breath away A beauty sleeping With eye serene Her breath is even And there on her face A calm peaceful look That his mind could hardly embrace Should he wake her up From that sleep?? Oh….. How he wishes that he could just lie down beside her and share her that sleep that peaceful serene sleep A long time seemed to pass While he stood there Looking at her Trying to figure out what is really meant to be He went to her….. Touched the serene face Marveling at the feeling Of serenity It gave him….. The eyelids closed And how he yearned to see The eyes……….to look deep at them And let them tell him All the stories seen in that sleep Lips……slightly parted And how he longed to see them Move as they speak And tempt him more with The secrets they keep Mesmerized And totally taken He bent down to press A gentle …..kiss On the rosy lips But He remembered The legend that say That a kiss on the lips from her knight Would wake up the princess One day He placed the kiss On her forehead And another on her eyes She didn’t move And a sleep she was still He breathed in relief Turned his back Went away Let her have her sleep Her dreams Her rosy quiet world And he’d dream forever Of her And of sharing that sleep To the deep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *thanks to Mark..  [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 07-27-2001).] |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
This was breathtaken. I've no critiques, I just enjoyed the beautiful flow and the words that tell a beautiful tale and listen to the beautiful music, I've no critiques, I can't think of any but: Thank you Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Your version, is so...ethereal and feather soft! I floated all the way through. Graceful! I think you did splendidly well. I never thought of what the Prince endured or what she may have dreamed till now! Thank you. Sincerely, Rwood |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Absolutely and utterly amazing. . . every time I open up one of your poems, I'm always amazed. . .you manage to take the reader on trips and to places that I'm sure that they never could go on their own. . . This story has such a wonderful flow and setting. . . I'm wondering if it wasn't really this way in the first place. . . Beautiful. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~Titia~ It is you I should thank for taking the time to read it and for your nice comment.....so Thank you.....  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Rwood~ I am certainly humbly thrilled that you have enjoyed it...... I haven't thought about what she might have dreamt either till I wrote this .... Thank you dearly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Dear Sven~ Could I ever thank you enough for your kind words, sir?....... I doubt....... I can only try to tell you how much I'm happy that you have such a high opinion about my writings....... And Yes....perhaps this is how the story was in the first place...... ......who knows?? Thank you **************************** |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
You have a soft and delicate gift in your writing, and it is our blessings to have you and your talents among us. |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Oh Dear ~Lady in White~ It is my blessing to be here and to be part of this wonderful circle of poets and friends...... I thank you dearly for your warm words.....  ************************* [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 07-27-2001).] |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
A beautiful "zephyr" of a tale and description... It never occured to me until now that what was called "sleep" back then would be considered a "coma" today, and it does indeed make me wonder what her world must be like behind those eyelids -- did the knight do the right thing and leave her to her Eden, or has he abandoned her last hope for freedom from a circular nightmare...? Perhaps you will grace us with another tale... ;-> (Did you want to leave this sentence: "From the sleep that frozen her" or add a "had" in front of or change "frozen" to "froze"...?) I love your verbal tapestries. -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I really love this - how soft, lovely and serene, into my library this goes Melissa~ |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
*gasp* I never thought of it that way! You have placed me in his footsteps and taken me through his thoughts so beautifully... Wonderful wonderful twist on this classic tale ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Dear ~Mark~ was it a "coma"? Well....it didn't occur to me either till you said it...... "did the knight do the right thing and leave her to her Eden, or has he abandoned her last hope for freedom from a circular nightmare...?" He saw the serene peaceful look on her face..... No nightmarish sleep could give such serenity......or so I hope at least I love your keen observation.......and yes, you are right I should have written {from the sleep that had frozen her}.....Thank you for drawing my attention to that...... I think I depend too much on my word processor.... Thank you for your kind words my friend.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Melissa~ Thank you dearly for your sweet words and for taking it into your library ……it would be certainly adorned by being there……. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Krista~ Would you believe that I have never thought of it that way either till I wrote it……and found myself eventually surprised by the twist which I didn’t really plan for when I started writing it……. Oh……I’m glad you loved it….. Thank you ******************************** [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 07-27-2001).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
My goodness, this is amazingly beautiful. The thought that the prince would not awaken her, though, hurts me somehow. Though the dreams may be serene, so must life with her true love be, no? I did a similar poem on my web page of timeless love, but it had the traditional ending. In fact nowhere near this complex, but maybe you would enjoy it. www.geocities.com/stournas/time.html I am going to have to seek out your other poems now, that I have missed, you did this so captivatingly. Sandra |
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Miranda Junior Member
since 2001-07-26
Posts 32OOOOOklahoma! |
Such a wonderful twist to an old tale. beautiful... Miranda |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Dear ~Sandra~ Thank you dearly for your sweet overwhelming kindness....... ((To let the prince wake her up...and have a serene dream like life with her?))...... I don't know....That could be possible.....but life rarely measures up to our dreams.....doesn't it?.... I read your poem......and the other poems as well.....I really really loved them....Your (Sleeping beauty) is quite beautiful....and I truly loved (The Legacy of Robin).....and almost wondered as you did...... Thank you dearest.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Miranda~ I'm glad that you loved it .... Thank you for your nice comment ************************** It's only me.......only me I hope that would suffice eternally {{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}} [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 07-27-2001).] |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
This is one of those poems I just enjoy reading and listening to the music. Thank you for sharing. |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~mirror man~ You've got a nice name, by the way Thank you for taking the time to read it. I'm glad that you have enjoyed it...... ************************ |
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