»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #15
»
A Litany of Self Help for Romantically Challenged Males Yearning For Simplicity
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #15
»
A Litany of Self Help for Romantically Challenged Males Yearning For Simplicity
| Open Poetry #15 |
|
A Litany of Self Help for Romantically Challenged Males Yearning For Simplicity |
|
|
Wes Utica Junior Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 28California |
When I was Tarzan and you were Jane rarely did you ever complain that I was unkind and uncaring never open, never sharing what it meant to be me and how that translates into we. It was a time men now deplore when women raised their heads to roar that men are slobs who just don' get it, who needed help or they'd regret it. Soon I had stacks and stacks or hardcover books and paperbacks all designed for comprehending that my garden need tending. Consciousness raising became my goal so I turned the pages to learn my role. To reduce stress and level my systolic I became a Deepak Chopra-holic. Bradshaw understood my compunctions concerning family and male dysfunctions. No longer was I king of the wild. John helped me find my inner child who was tied to mommy and anal retentive, unromantic and lacking incentive; a jock in ninety dollar Nikes trampling over female psyches. I'd been a pig with cloven hooves watching ESPN while you ran with the wolves. Now I'm from Mars and you're from Venus a Lorena Scissorshands to snip my penis since I'm not who you thought you wed when you aimed for Redford, got me instead. I toted my barge, lifted my bales despite your looks when I lifted some ales. Joining the race with the other rats I wore myself out wearing too many hats, father, son, husband, lover, just too damn many bases to cover. Thought I was smart, learned I was conned, I was Betty Frie-damned and Iron-John'd. My inner hunter home from the wild killed and ate my inner child. I was wrecked by every rectifier from F. Scott Peck to E. Wayne Dyer. When I surrendered and promised to repent Deborah Tannen said: that's not what I meant. I was embraced by the light, while under a steeple, I learned the seven habits of highly effective people. Needing my life to be more serene I studied the prophesies of Celestine. I read Angela's ashes, begosh and begorra! I even started listening to Dr Laura. Too much childhood emotional spillage. If only I had been raised by a village. Wherever I turned I was under attack. I stopped listening to everyone - except Prozac. Finally, I shouted: Enough is enough! Can't we all get along - don't sweat the small stuff? Love isn't a science, loving's an art, we're going to pieces without falling apart. Can we talk? Here's the bottom line. You get off your charger, I'll let go my vine. We won't be you, we won't be me we'll respect each other's reality. I'm tired of living on tenterhooks, nailed by these self-improvement books. Let's reach a loving compromise and turn this jungle into paradise. For darling, I know this much is true: I am the best me when I am with you. Let's strike a bargain. Then strike a match and burn these books batch by batch. And in those flames, we'll see what transpires. C'mon, c'mon baby, let's re-light our fires. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Wes Utica - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
He smiles as he looks around the corner to make sure none of the fairer sex are looking and says "HURRY UP AND LIGHT THE FIRE" Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I used to be a 'self-help' junkie. This is hilarious. We need to laugh at ourselves now and then. btw, can I send you a couple of boxes full to help fuel your fire? |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Who is the self help guru of the month now...James |
||
|
Wes Utica Junior Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 28California |
Thanks guys for your replies. Where are da lydies? |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
death to John Gray!!!! lol  Men are from Mars eh?? Gee, I always thought that I was from Michigan. . . LOL great job Wes. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Wes, You just wrote up my philosophy. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. Enjoyed |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
HAHAHA Heres one of the ladies that agrees with you. Only we have the same problem, trust me. Too many roles, too many ways to be, we screwed ourselves in so many ways in the 60's, now we just have nothing quite the way we want it. And its not our fault, honest.  This was so well done, and funny, and true!Sandra |
||
|
Wes Utica Junior Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 28California |
Seymour, Swen - thanks for your replies/. Sandra - I guess the self help books are written for both genders so that both sides can be constantly confused. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
We won't be you, we won't be me we'll respect each other's reality. I'm tired of living on tenterhooks, nailed by these self-improvement books. Let's reach a loving compromise and turn this jungle into paradise. For darling, I know this much is true: I am the best me when I am with you. Let's strike a bargain. Then strike a match and burn these books batch by batch. And in those flames, we'll see what transpires. C'mon, c'mon baby, let's re-light our fires. I knew I wouldn't be disappointed reading you...thank you. I have some of those copies and the others I recall passing by after sneaking a peek in the aisles of self-help. ~Wynter/M "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #15
»
A Litany of Self Help for Romantically Challenged Males Yearning For Simplicity
