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Open Poetry #15
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Attention Shoppers
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Attention Shoppers |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach 
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Attention Shoppers Excuse me if am mistaken But I think you stole my heart You tossed it in with groceries Left unattended in your cart. Forgive me if I am wrong But I think you took my love It's right between the margarine And the dish soap labelled Dove. Pardon me if I seem forward But I want these items back My devotion didn't satisfy you To you it was just a snack. It's time to pay my darling Sure hope your credit's fine Your greediness has made a mess "Clean up in aisle nine!" Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I like this VERY much! Quite creative  "Deputy Moderator ~ Open Forum" |
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cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
quite clever, and deserves attention! very original and an excellent choice of words. everything flows so smoothly and your point was stated clearly with much tactfulness. gr8 write! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Sea and Cruz. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
OH!!! I love this!! It is so YOU and your humor shines right through in this one! Great writing and imagery here too! Keep on, keepin on....hugs!  ~Time has cast a spell on you |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
This was fun to read. It's time to pay my darling Sure hope your credit's fine Your greediness has made a mess "Clean up in aisle nine!" This would make any divorce lawyer smile! Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks Enchantress and Rustyknight, I really didn't think I would get comments, nevermind good ones on this little ditty. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
This is so cute. wonderful read alan |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Didn't think you would get comments? Man, I'm sure you had everyone who reads this rolling in the aisles. LOL. Just hope we aren't rolling over your heart, cause with as big a sense of humor as you have, I'm sure your heart is twice as big. I hope you find that someone soon who once they steal your hearts knows how to treat it. Dawn |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
How very, very clever. This is a great read. I enjoyed, enjoyed, enjoyed If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Alan, Dawn & Tracey. Dawn, Just so you won't worry, I have found a wonderful man who loves reading my writings too! He was in aisle six. lol Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Fantastically created. I really enjoyed the read. May I keep a copy and share, too? via e-mail? E-mail me if you would as this is liable to be way down the board with all the activity here and I'll forget the name of it. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
NightShade~ This is just adorably cute and original~ Muchly enjoyed~  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Nightshade, this was very creative, I bet they were cleaning up more than a ketchup spill in ale nine. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Clever use of a metaphor Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
nicely done! I hope he at least gave green stamps....oh, jeez! Showing my age again!  Thank God for aisle 6!  |
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cottage Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 138 |
tis is a fun read!! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou all, my new writing friends. It was fun writing that one. Some of my poems leave me spent after I finish writing them as they bring up so many memories. I am sure that you all can relate. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
LOL! This piece is so witty! I love the way you handled this shoplifter of hearts! Way to Go! Sincerely, Regina |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
Look for my heart in the dented,marked down section.Good poem I liked it. paladin |
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Topheth Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297Texas |
Love it, Nightshade! My kind of favorite. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou all.....your thoughts warm me on this rainy night in Ontario. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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