Me and Elvis Went on a Food Fest

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Grubbymitts
Junior Member

since 2001-08-30

Posts 37
UK

0 posted 2001-09-01 02:34 AM

Me and Elvis Once Went On a Foodfest

Me and Elvis once went for a food fest,
One late august night,
The sign flashed "All You Can Eat!",
So we stopped in for a bite.

Elvis gobbled down thirty cheeseburgers,
Faster than I'd ever seen,
He swilled them down with ten milkshakes,
And a bucket of chocolate ice cream.

Then he ordered a mega huge curry,
And twelve massive naan bread too,
I pleaded "Elvis please stop eating!",
It was all that I could do.

But the singer sank down twenty prime ribs,
And a nice fat juicy steak,
I had to turn my head away,
It was more than I could take.

Still Elvis kept on eating,
His appetite yet did burn,
And the size of them cakes he shoved down his gob,
Sure made my stomach churn.

He wolfed down ten packets of biscuits,
And a huge lump of blue stilton cheese,
By the end of that dreadful evening,
His stomach sat on his knees.

At last he supped a cup of coffee,
Said "Tataa!" and went on his way,
They found him dead on the toilet,
The very next day.

But what the police didn't tell us,
What the papers didn't say,
Not only did Elvis snuff it,
He blew the toilet away!

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

1 posted 2001-09-01 03:04 AM

Being from the UK, I'm not sure you're allowed to do this, humorous as it was. Good one.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2001-09-01 06:06 AM

Oh you are sick! I will have to rate this an 1/8th out of a ten.

Treat me like a fool
I'll be sad and blue,
but ut ut love me!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-09-01 08:44 AM

This is akin to blasphemy...rofl...

and? you ever try to find something to eat in memphis...they don't have hot dogs-they serve Hound dogs...sigh...it was a bit much for me too!

smiling here, grubby!

Grubbymitts
Junior Member

since 2001-08-30

Posts 37
UK

4 posted 2001-09-01 08:55 AM

Before anyone moans about the wrong grammar in the piece, I know it should be Elvis and I but

1. That had already been done by Dennis Leary
2. I wanted it to sound like a "Lad's night out!". In life we don't often speak with correct grammar.

Sorry if I've offended anybody. Whatever you do, for goodness sake don't read Armageddon 1, 2 or 3 by Robert Rankin if you're a big Elvis fan.

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

5 posted 2001-09-01 09:14 AM

LOL. You come up with the strangest things in your world. I don't know where you get the ideas, but keep them coming. I just went and checked out your website. The chuckles I got are a great way to start the day. Thanks

Tracey

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

6 posted 2001-09-01 03:43 PM

The twisted uniqueness of your style made me smile; the last line made me laugh out loud. Kudos for bizzare originality!

-MVS

"It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself."
-MVS

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