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Open Poetry #15
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Grubbymitts
Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37
UK

0 posted 2001-08-31 02:57 AM


Kellogg's Cornflake Massacre

The story I'm about to tell you,
The tale I'm bound to relate,
Describes the evil of one terrifying,
Psychotic Kellogg's cornflake.

It awoke early one morning,
Inside someone's breakfast bowl,
Sentience coursed through the flake,
This cereal had a soul.

As the milk began pouring,
The flake leapt for its life,
It landed on the kitchen table,
And took off with the butter knife.

It's tortured soul was angry,
"HOW DARE THEY TRY TO EAT ME!!!!"
So it sharpened that butter knife to a point,
And set off on a killing spree.

The cornflake was merciless,
In its crazed, insane rampage,
Woman nor child, young nor old,
No one was spared its rage.

It massacred the army,
The air force, the navy too,
Even nukes couldn't get rid of the flake,
There was nothing Mankind could do.

Just as it began to look like,
Humanity's lights were dimmed,
Someone tried a crazy notion,
And drowned the flake in semi-skimmed.

The cornflake screamed as it melted,
Under gallons and gallons of milk,
Now these days we keep a supply of semi,
In case there's ever another of its ilk!

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

© Copyright 2001 Simon Tinsley - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2001-08-31 04:05 AM


gives a "whole" new meaning to the term "got milk?"


Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
2 posted 2001-08-31 07:01 AM


LOL. Oh what a tormented life you lead, first dancing pants, now psychotic cornflakes. I'll be in England myself next week, so I'll be carefull to keep an eye out for those dancing pants and I don't think I'll be eating cornflakes now!!!

I love your strange way of looking at the ordinary. Please keep them coming.

Tracey

[This message has been edited by Tracey (edited 09-01-2001).]

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2001-08-31 04:16 PM


Oh those poor corn flakes!
This was another funny one.
Keep them jumping off the keyboard.

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
4 posted 2001-08-31 04:31 PM


  LOL  this is great!!!!
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
5 posted 2001-09-01 09:19 AM


My Rice Crispies talk! They Keep Saying stuff like "I see dead People!" This was clever and funny as heck.   I enjoyed!

Sincerely,
Regina

citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
6 posted 2001-09-01 10:18 AM


sounds like breakfast Nick Cave style

Liked this one, that is why I don't eat ceral for breakfast

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
7 posted 2001-09-01 11:37 AM


...maybe he was just tired of being a flake?

-MVS

"It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself."
-MVS


kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
8 posted 2001-09-01 01:01 PM


the title caught my attention

cool poem...shows us that poetry is everywhere

Snooganzmeister32
Member
since 2001-07-17
Posts 67
Cali, USA
9 posted 2001-09-01 01:07 PM


Oh, my gosh! Now mabey more people than me will be afraid of Kellogs cerial!!! You should, by the way.
SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
10 posted 2001-09-01 01:08 PM


hehehe    hilarious!  You know what's perfect about this though?  That his demise was caused by skim milk...there's something about skim milk that just ruins the taste of cereal....and it turns a purplish colour when used with cereal.  I don't know why, I don't need to know why....2% all the way for me!    of course I don't mind a cold glass of skim milk now and then....but in cereal?  Blech!

Sorry...I've babbled    I really enjoyed your poem!  
~Krista  

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

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