navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » senyrus ala who I hope I am and am
Open Poetry #15
Post A Reply Post New Topic senyrus ala who I hope I am and am Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-08-27 01:45 PM




*************
I like to eat sweets
yet sugar’s terribly bad
makes me awf’ly sad
*************

lighthouses thrill me
their beacons glow so brightly
graces shores, saves souls
*************

candle’s what I’d be
for guiding lost souls to Thee
glistening for You
*************

dreaming like a cat
stretching out in summer sun
whiskers twitching fun

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 08-27-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
1 posted 2001-08-27 05:39 PM


Love them VAS, but I think they show better if you seperated them.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-08-27 06:32 PM


Thanks, Titia.  I had separated them, but only with spacing...that doesn't work.  I just finished, recently, asking Sunshine how she was able to space and indent for effect. Then I didn't even preview this to see how it came out. So, you can see I amended it and it works this way, anyway. Still not quite how I'd like it.
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
3 posted 2001-08-27 07:35 PM


I think a starline just in between each senryu with a space between them will do perhaps. Like this:

I like to eat sweets
yet sugar’s terribly bad
makes me awf’ly sad

*************
lighthouses thrill me
their beacons glow so brightly
graces shores, saves souls

*************
candle’s what I’d be
for guiding lost souls to Thee
glistening for You

*************
dreaming like a cat
stretching out in summer sun
whiskers twitching fun


Titia


A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-08-27 07:57 PM


heh heh heh---that's what I did Titia...great minds run in the same path LOL
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
5 posted 2001-08-28 01:41 PM


what a pity you didn't receive more comments, VAS...i enjoyed the last one particularly
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-08-28 03:08 PM


Thanks, faterider.  I just get buried under all the activity.  I appreciate you reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » senyrus ala who I hope I am and am

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary