senyrus ala who I hope I am and am

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Open Poetry #15

senyrus ala who I hope I am and am

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-08-27 01:45 PM

*************
I like to eat sweets
yet sugar’s terribly bad
makes me awf’ly sad
*************

lighthouses thrill me
their beacons glow so brightly
graces shores, saves souls
*************

candle’s what I’d be
for guiding lost souls to Thee
glistening for You
*************

dreaming like a cat
stretching out in summer sun
whiskers twitching fun

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 08-27-2001).]

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

1 posted 2001-08-27 05:39 PM

Love them VAS, but I think they show better if you seperated them.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-08-27 06:32 PM

Thanks, Titia. I had separated them, but only with spacing...that doesn't work. I just finished, recently, asking Sunshine how she was able to space and indent for effect. Then I didn't even preview this to see how it came out. So, you can see I amended it and it works this way, anyway. Still not quite how I'd like it.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

3 posted 2001-08-27 07:35 PM

I think a starline just in between each senryu with a space between them will do perhaps. Like this:

I like to eat sweets
yet sugar’s terribly bad
makes me awf’ly sad

*************
lighthouses thrill me
their beacons glow so brightly
graces shores, saves souls

*************
candle’s what I’d be
for guiding lost souls to Thee
glistening for You

*************
dreaming like a cat
stretching out in summer sun
whiskers twitching fun

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2001-08-27 07:57 PM

heh heh heh---that's what I did Titia...great minds run in the same path LOL

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

5 posted 2001-08-28 01:41 PM

what a pity you didn't receive more comments, VAS...i enjoyed the last one particularly

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-08-28 03:08 PM

Thanks, faterider. I just get buried under all the activity. I appreciate you reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed.

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