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Open Poetry #15
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unleashing
| Open Poetry #15 |
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unleashing |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Okay, I think she noticed me--- almost--immediately... Yes, I noticed she met stare-- dismissing me as I'm not there. Okay I saw her--yes I did-- a rapture of an aura bid--- Her lines were smooth her arms were taut- a lioness of moves, I thought-- her hips walked before she did--- the rest of her in silver, slid.... Sultry, half-closed eyes in speak, the journey of a vision's peak... All my heart beats half a beat... Everything I am, I greet. is just enough to understand. all my heart beats in your hand feel the pump of blood in you-- and all the things I wish we'd do-- the trembling of touch of hand- I wish for once we'd understand... She was glamour. I was not. Life in clamour, un-do knot... all of life be fried/unfreed undo the damage done to me... Oh, the knot, in gold revealed unleashing of my lips,concealed tell me everything is real... will be ever, never... healed... |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Love and loss can be so hurtful, to be who you are not, might be worse. A very well written piece which I well enjoyed, I felt the hurt, the passion and feeling in each line. Hope all goes well. Be well. Rick |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Hey Sen felt the pain in this and the hurt, hope all is well hon ~HUGS~ always Tracie Love is the life of the soul... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Okay I saw her--yes I did-- a rapture of an aura bid--- Her lines were smooth her arms were taut- a lioness of moves, I thought-- her hips walked before she did--- the rest of her in silver, slid.... Sultry, half-closed eyes in speak, the journey of a vision's peak... All my heart beats half a beat... Everything I am, I greet. is just enough to understand. all my heart beats in your hand feel the pump of blood in you-- and all the things I wish we'd do-- the trembling of touch of hand- I wish for once we'd understand... She was glamour. I was not. Life in clamour, un-do knot... all of life be fried/unfreed undo the damage done to me... Oh, the knot, in gold revealed unleashing of my lips,concealed tell me everything is real... will be ever, never... healed... ============================= Well....I dont know who "she" is... but I DO KNOW she cant hold a candle to you. and she sure wont ever hold this gift you do... Glamour is not a gift baby...its a mask and just the imagery alone that you acheived in this blows me away...then add the rhyme and the sheer impact of the emote "she" may walk the walk and talk the talk and sparkle with her trinkets.... but you shine baby...and your pen is REAL GOLD. this poem is cooler than even I know... so is the poet who wrote it  meFeels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ WOW ! 'Okay I saw her--yes I did-- a rapture of an aura bid--- Her lines were smooth her arms were taut- a lioness of moves, I thought-- her hips walked before she did--- the rest of her in silver, slid....' Now THAT'S beauty on the prowl~ Wonderfully drawn imagery ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
What great work Celeste! Bravo! excellent writing! What my poet pet Janet wrote goes for me too....you're just growing with this craft and hey! ain't it fun? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
every day. . . you amaze me more and more. . . wonderfully done. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Kay Vibbert Junior Member
since 2001-08-25
Posts 35Indiana |
Lots of great lines in this one. It was hard to choose one particular one. Kay |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Very powerful and full of feeling, excellent write. Throw your heart out in front of you And run out to catch it. ARAB PROVERB [This message has been edited by shadow974 (edited 08-25-2001).] |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Ah yes you slipped the leash on this one love...wonderful |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
It does so hurt when they turn out to be so damned pretty, doesn't it? sigh...sigh...expletive sigh....hugs to me buds though--I thank you. |
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