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Open Poetry #15
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barren (cinquain)
| Open Poetry #15 |
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barren (cinquain) |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain 
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barren lonely even the tears have gone elsewhere, searching for a place where it's not empty echo "Trace my body with your words and in doing so, you touch my heart" Snow [This message has been edited by Snow (edited 07-14-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
What a picture perfect cinquain, and that is barren alright, well done! ~If you have a choice to sit down or dance, I hope that you dance~ |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
WoW!!! That is the epitome of lonely!!! |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
The word barren has a hollow sound. Only one who is barren knows how empty it is. |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
Thank you for the comments on this piece. And although I am not Barren, I'd like to think I captured this feeling, as a writer...that, would be my goal. Again, thank you. "Trace my body with your words |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Snow-- You capture the barren feeling very well with this cinquain. Its good to see you back at Passions. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes very nicely captured... powerful image... I do not enjoy the feeling, but do enjoy the talent to present it so well... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - very well expressed, how I relate! Melissa~ |
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
This form works well for this topic, doesn't it? Nicely done. Every line speaks of "barren". \\ |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
Poeminister, thank you for the welcome back as well as the comment on this piece!! Cpat Hair, Oh thank you so very much!! Your comments have just had me wearing one huge smile all day! Melissa, *hugs* I'm sorry that you can relate to this. Thank you for your comment! wandering glider, yes, this form is perfect for so much. Since I really like to use as few words as possible it works well for me. thank you all, Snow "Trace my body with your words |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes..still as good with time as it was when first read... This truly a very nicely presented image and emotion... |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Oh I like this. Well done!  Deb |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
this cinquain reminds me of a haiku i have read before winter so cold~ even the monkey needs a coat your poem stirred similar feelings in me as when i read this haiku |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i know i read this but its nice to read it again  |
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