. . . Forbidden romance . . . Tanka

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Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

0 posted 2001-08-21 01:43 PM

look at me and see
the obdurate romantic
our love forbidden
inflexible in belief
unalterably in love

http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/interloper.htm

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-08-21 01:49 PM

tell me...do you wish to convey that you shall ever be a romantic...or that you are inflexible in the area of romance, I know I should probably be able to figure that out with the remainder of the verse, but I'm feeling slow today

me, I'm ever a romantic, even outside the realm of 'romance'

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

2 posted 2001-08-21 01:59 PM

then to whom you speak
that would listen closer as
the truest love, yours

Well done, Sir...

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

3 posted 2001-08-21 02:03 PM

very nice....never written a tanka, but if there was a perfect one written it would be this

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-08-21 02:51 PM

very beautiful

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2001-08-21 03:24 PM

Yes, this is good. I like the forbidden aspect, too.
Sandra

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

6 posted 2001-08-21 03:32 PM

Very nice,
I like when the less used words
are well incorporated
In well formed verse.

Gloom

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-08-21 03:49 PM

it's "Colleen" but please you know my name!
I can't stay away, it's forbidden!!! ha ha
I have to write and until I am published (big laugh here) well, I write here....
loved this by the way

[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 08-21-2001).]

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

8 posted 2001-08-21 04:24 PM

Very nice......
I enjoyed it.......

Thank you
*************************

"Oh...me!Oh Life!
Of the questions of these recurring..........
Of myself forever reproaching myself,
for who more foolish than I......"
~Whitman~

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

9 posted 2001-08-21 07:49 PM

Forbidden but ever present. Wonderful Tanka and great expression in this piece.

shadow974
Senior Member

since 2001-06-21

Posts 636
Michigan

10 posted 2001-08-21 07:51 PM

Beautifully done!

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.
ARAB PROVERB

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